At least Venus retrograde has been better than the summertime?

For those who follow the Planet transits, Venus has been retrograde since around October 5th, and doesn’t go direct until November, then immediately after that, Mercury (communication) goes retrograde.

So with Venus being the planet of love and beauty, and retrograde being a metaphorical backspin of the planet, it mainly connects to only your love life or relationships, right? Wrong! So far, feel it has actually been sooo sooo much more about finances, money, and your own beauty, the beauty inside and out you. Your soul beauty. Soul alignment. Self love can be included in the mix of words, but it’s really so much stronger than that. Any retrograde naturally brings a massive internal reflection feel. Now don’t get me wrong, an ex lover can come back, heck even a strained parent child relationship, old friendships, co worker tension, can all surface and be revisited for healing. The relationships that were like a cold case, platonic or not, will still be an important theme. This can even include relationships that would’ve been better off not being physical, or vice versa, platonic relationships that were meant to be intimate, but never were.

Back to the reflection feel, know that this can actually manifest in different ways. It doesn’t have to necessarily mean an ex knocking down your door or blowing up your phone. This can actually manifest as odd and unique ways of thinking of an ex or past relationship. For example, this manifested in my reality as listening to few old songs that I haven’t heard in over a decade, but represented transformative healing. A new way to not only think about the past, but shed what has to be shed. So, even the thinking of past relationships will be common during this retrograde, because with this Venus retro being in the sign of Scorpio, truths are uncomfortably unraveled for one reason and one reason only: to transform and rebirth a new love life. This is your love relationship with an intimate partner or spouse, this is your love story with money, this is your trust in yourself. Clarity will be gained through this love retrograde by enhancing and integrating light on you shadow side. Think of this new moon in Libra that past a couple weeks ago…perfect example of that. Libra illuminates outward their own repressed dark, shadow junk. Definitely important if your have Libra in your 7th house too, besides that recent moon phase example. So own the once disowned shadow side of yourself, whether you’re in a relationship at the moment, have past relationships coming up during this retrograde, or feel stuck.

Making decisions of repeating the past inside relationships or evolving from it, will also take center stage. This may be a little bit more written for single people, but know that if you’re in a relationship old patterns or old circumstances that were presented in the past will sneak in again during this retrograde. No way around it, kids. Be brave enough to choose to evolve instead. Especially if you do have a partner that you already know is in it for long haul. Not the few years type of long haul, but decades and decades kind of committed long haul. Ask, what primary lesson is this teaching? Then shed anything that doesn’t serve your expansion, growth, and uncompromisable love. These retrogrades (Venus and mercury) will be a lot on your emotions, but after the eclipse season 2018 we had during the summertime, it will somehow feel easier. Follow your truth, intuition (heart), and evolve through any level of intensity that’s thrown your way.

Sleep Paralysis

By: SG (Single Girl)™

My Jupiter frequency playing,

too loudly.

One figure appeared,

and paralysis entered uninvited.

Multiple voices disguised as the familiar.

It came in, over my body, like a tight weight.

The weight couldn’t be moved.

Somehow heavy, yet weightless,

at the same time.

science says…

it’s all because you wake up

before REM sleep is finished.

If it’s your imagination,

why does it feel so real?

Is the indescribable fright

anything science can explain?

First it feels like a tugging hug.

The more you try to scream,

the less you can.

“Don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me.”

I thought I said out loud,

but may have only been in my dreamland.

“Why are you here?”

Leave my soul alone, I spoke again in my head.

Sleep is too sacred for this.

I’m stronger than an illusion

or dream hallucination.

How many times in a lifetime can this happen?

Control mind over matter.

Ego, the demon, and voices are gone now.

And once and for all for good?

And sleep must inevitably come again…

Sleepless and dateless in South Florida

Unlike Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, I don’t have a legitimate reason for my sleepless nights. In the movie, he was mourning the loss of a deceased spouse. I just worry too much. Night and day difference.

As far as the movie reference goes, hope there are other 80’s babies out there that will appreciate it. To give a rundown of a typical sleepless night for me: I’ll research online about what year Sleepless and Seattle came out (1993, by the way), then I’ll stumble on Tom Papa comedy, which makes me stumble on Seinfeld comedy, then I tell myself I have to write, but then I’m too tired to write or don’t know what I’m meant to write about. After all the internet surfing you also have to keep in mind I’m taking in all that blue light from my cell phone for hours at a time. Lose, lose situation with a dash of overkill. Then like I’m in a faint dream, I see the sunrise. It still feels as glorious as if I didn’t stink from staying up all night. Then my mind thinks I’m supposed to be awake at that point. You see how this ends up being a complete nosedive? I get zero sleep or nights when I’m lucky if l get a few hours.

I’ve tried all the remedies too. Melatonin, Advil PM, and the old fashioned just being utterly exhausted. I’ve grown tolerance to most of these solutions. Now, throw in not dating to the mix, and you’ll understand why I’m searching, or well, at least looking for some writing therapy . The last guy I dated, of course another one that wasn’t my type, was the one I wrote about in my December post, I really like you a lot. This was about him telling me he liked me, when the same feelings weren’t reciprocated on my end. That’s going on six months ago, with no serious dating since 2013, and without a boyfriend since 2010. Yes, 2010. I’m over the sleepless nights. I’m over hearing I have to heal from the past and current relationships first. I’m over feeling I’m just not ready to open the door and receive a respectful, sparking, fireworks kind of love. Come on Universe, it’s been seven plus years.  I’m here on this blog to announce I’m ready. I’m deserving of this. And if some healing has to happen, it will have to take place  while I’m getting to know my new match.  I’m going to be reminded of the quote below and get outside my comfort zone. I’m going to go entirely outside my comfort zones. Comfort zones are a false sense of security anyways, and nothing, I repeat, nothing ever grows there.  I also smell one more year until a 25th movie anniversary for Sleepless. They don’t make them like that anymore. I’m hopeful for a few movies I saw coming out this year though, one is called The Big Sick. As a side note, I adore Tom Hanks too. He had my heart in this movie, and still has it now with his recent Saturday Night Live skits. And Tom Papa with his, “have you lost weight?… “You’re doing the best you can.” It’s exactly the humor I need to hear right now! What can I say, I love comedy, and like a hybrid fairy and Cherub, I love romance.

Taking my own advice and giving it out to all of you at the same time: Get out there, take that big leap of faith outside your comfort zone, and watch how fast miracles unfold. 
“People who truly loved once, are far more likely to love again”, Sleepless in Seattle

SG

The meme lover in me made me do it.

Disconnected

“I’ve had all these things before,” she whispers roughly inside her head. 

Now they seem like faint dreams. Hard to remember, with a questionable end. 

Her inner voice guides her. “Go left”, she hears, so she makes a sharp right instead. 

She talks to Angel Intuitives, Psychics, and Reiki Practitioners alike. 

They all tell her the same fight. “Your world will soon be different.”

“Shine your light,” they add. “That’s your destiny. That’s your birth right.”

“Will what’s justly mine ever find me?,” she recites. “I feel such a disconnect and such contrite.”

“This year,” they all simultaneously say, with a reassurance she easily invites.

I’m a Virgo and I’m an empath

I’m super analytical and overthink, yet I am also super sensitive and feel others feelings as if they were my own. Yes, an odd mix indeed.

I love the yin yang symbol because it represents light and dark and how you have to have both to obtain balance. So heart vs mind is always a struggle for me. I’m very intuitive for a Virgo, however I don’t trust my gut feelings and just like to rebel. What ends up happening is that my overthinking tricks my heart into thinking the other person means well or has good intentions even when they don’t. This has caused a lot of pain for me.

End of definition.

“I really like you a lot.”

When a guy says they really like you, they mean it. No having to dissect it. Males are simple, direct, and use as few words as possible to communicate with the opposite sex. Even in this case, when they are telling you they like you, there is no reading between the lines here.

I’m recently dating this guy that I was first talking to through online dating. We talked but never met around this same time last year. I was in a crappy place and told him I didn’t think it would be best to meet then. He said he still had my number and we started texting last month, a year later, and finally met up. After our third date, and they all were spaced out a week apart, he told me he really likes me. So sorry for sounding like a broken record like I do, but guys are simple. When they are there, I mean actually consistently visable, they are next to you…then they like you. When they say they like you, they like you. No hidden meanings, no extremities. Here’s the kicker though: I’m not sure I  like him or feel the same way. I feel really bad about it too. He’s a nice guy,  but I’m not feeling any physical or intellectual connection. Our first date was a cute meet up to get ice cream, we had a full lunch and a walk on the beach for our second date. And one mixed in Netflix and chill date, and a coffee date. The Netflix date barely lead to second base. I dig the slowness too. If you’re read any  piece of my blog, you know that for the past couple of years I have gotten nothing but the opposite. Guys are keen to the physical a little too fast with me. I’m tired of it really. 

But what do I do? It’s now about five weeks in and I don’t know how I feel about this dude. Do I break it off possibly too prematurely, string him along, or see where things go?  Stringing him along is definitely not my style, so it has to be one of the other two. He’s an almost boyfriend here and I’m a little petrified!

I just still haven’t met him yet?, 

SG