Unlike Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, I don’t have a legitimate reason for my sleepless nights. In the movie, he was mourning the loss of a deceased spouse. I just worry too much. Night and day difference.
As far as the movie reference goes, hope there are other 80’s babies out there that will appreciate it. To give a rundown of a typical sleepless night for me: I’ll research online about what year Sleepless and Seattle came out (1993, by the way), then I’ll stumble on Tom Papa comedy, which makes me stumble on Seinfeld comedy, then I tell myself I have to write, but then I’m too tired to write or don’t know what I’m meant to write about. After all the internet surfing you also have to keep in mind I’m taking in all that blue light from my cell phone for hours at a time. Lose, lose situation with a dash of overkill. Then like I’m in a faint dream, I see the sunrise. It still feels as glorious as if I didn’t stink from staying up all night. Then my mind thinks I’m supposed to be awake at that point. You see how this ends up being a complete nosedive? I get zero sleep or nights when I’m lucky if l get a few hours.
I’ve tried all the remedies too. Melatonin, Advil PM, and the old fashioned just being utterly exhausted. I’ve grown tolerance to most of these solutions. Now, throw in not dating to the mix, and you’ll understand why I’m searching, or well, at least looking for some writing therapy . The last guy I dated, of course another one that wasn’t my type, was the one I wrote about in my December post, I really like you a lot. This was about him telling me he liked me, when the same feelings weren’t reciprocated on my end. That’s going on six months ago, with no serious dating since 2013, and without a boyfriend since 2010. Yes, 2010. I’m over the sleepless nights. I’m over hearing I have to heal from the past and current relationships first. I’m over feeling I’m just not ready to open the door and receive a respectful, sparking, fireworks kind of love. Come on Universe, it’s been seven plus years. I’m here on this blog to announce I’m ready. I’m deserving of this. And if some healing has to happen, it will just has to take place while I’m getting to know my new match. I’m going to be reminded of the quote below and get outside my comfort zone. I’m going to go entirely outside my comfort zones. Comfort zones are a false sense of security anyways, and nothing, I repeat, nothing ever grows there. I also smell one more year until a 25th movie anniversary for Sleepless. They don’t make them like that anymore. I’m hopeful for a few movies I saw coming out this year though, one is called The Big Sick. As a side note, I adore Tom Hanks too. He had my heart in this movie, and still has it now with his recent Saturday Night Live skits. And Tom Papa with his, “have you lost weight?… “You’re doing the best you can.” It’s exactly the humor I need to hear right now! What can I say, I love comedy, and like a hybrid fairy and Cherub, I love romance.
Taking my own advice and giving it out to all of you at the same time: Get out there, take that big leap of faith outside your comfort zone, and watch how fast miracles unfold.
“People who truly loved once, are far more likely to love again”, Sleepless in Seattle
To start off, it has actually been sunny here in South Florida. The showers are staying away for now. May be a good thing. I’ve been putting this post off for weeks, maybe even months now. I’m definitely keen to talk about casino gambling in more detail. I’m gonna throw in some Oprah in the mix, well, because it’s Oprah. The rest will be completely spontaneous, BUT completely needed.
Hope you enjoy, and leave a comment if any of this resonates with you!! Everyone has a story. And sometimes two stories can be completely different, I mean almost night and day, but still help the other person. I’m happy to share highlights of my story, and will love if it has even the slightest impact on you.
1) So there’s Oprah, and the list can go on about what you say about her: she’s the 1%, but she’s also phenomenal. This is “Think and Grow Rich” philosophy. This is The Secret. This is the law of attraction❤
I had a cousin debate a little with me over this post. He wrote, “I’m going to disagree. She may have visualized all she has today, but everyone does that. She busted her ass for decades. That’s why you don’t see 5 million Oprahs. There is no scenario where everyone can be wealthy in any monetary system.”
While I understand his point of her working hard to get to where she is, I still had the book Think and Grow Rich in my head.
So my retort was, “I agree with you. With this segment of hers I just related it to the “Think and Grow Rich” book because I’m only on chapter 2, and already picking up the secret theme being defined as your failures being as important as your successes. They get you to that never give up mindset. Our system! That’s not something I’ll ever touch!”
In summary, he was talking about hard work and the monetary system, and I was just relating to the message of law of attraction, and your failures being as important as a learning experience as your successes. Either way, this is a grand and superb Oprah clip. In any debate you have in your head, hopefully you are saying, law of attraction for the win!
2) A transition from a motivational Oprah speech on failure to gambling just seems appropriate? Gambling controversially and beautifully connects with the energy of law of attraction. Just not maybe the way you are thinking. Basically, in my expert opinion, gambling is a major loophole when it comes to the law of attraction. And the answer why? The first word that comes to mind is vibration. Vibrational match. Look at this way, you can have a person that enters the casino with a measly $10 and build it up to $65 in matter of minutes playing roulette. Here’s the catch, if there vibration is low or their vibration is in a state where they believe that when you gamble, the money just eludes you, guess what will happen next? The same person that was up $55 could to go to a new machine, have a lower vibration, or even absorb a lower vibration, and lose it all back in minutes as well. Then ultimately, they are not up anything. They just lost $10. Now, I’ve also seen people win $900, $2500, even $5000, in one sitting at the casino. These people have a high vibration, or just a very strong thought manifestation of, “I don’t care if I’m gambling and it can be unpredictable or even reckless,”…”I’m a a winner,” they are saying. “Money comes to me now and easily,” they may also say. Now to wrap up this random bullet, let me tell you over the past few months, what I’ve done when I’ve gone to the casino to gamble. I usually only bring $40-60 dollars. Doesn’t mean I may not end up losing more, I just usually don’t bring more than that amount. That’s my comfort zone, so to speak, and probably also the reason I don’t win! Lol! With my $40 or $60, or even $80 bucks I pay cards or I play roulette. Just recently, I put $40 in a roulette machine, and built it up to over $200 in about less than an hour. Here’s the kicker and the catch though, the casino draws you in, so you don’t quit. Instead of coming out a big $160 winner that night, I lost it all back. And then a deep sadness and dirtiness sets in. The biggest thing to take from this, even when you do win, you are winning off of someone else’s lower vibration loss. Or like in my case, someone else’s only breaking even or losing small amounts mentality of “Gambling money just eludes me.” Sarah Prout, an expert on manifesting and law of attraction has an article about why gambling is NOT the means to manifest abundance, and she explains this all the best. I think it talks a lot about energy, present moment, and gratefulness in it. Regardless, she lives in Las Vegas, so she knows a thing or two about casinos. And she’s already a law of attraction guru. Here’s the link to the article. This quote below says it best, and by a culture that loves gambling nonetheless.
3) Hope:
4) I’ve been doing some work to get my own business ventures started. Therefore, love has been on the back burner for me. Eharmony is not action packed these days, even more like a snooze fest. I didn’t feel like putting in my credit card info to get 7 free days on Match.com. Since a big part of what I am doing on the side is still small income, very small, or even for free, (but hopefully will be growing amazingly soon), Also my startup biz is only at the top of the iceberg of what I’d like to grow and do. To give you a little background about me, because like I mentioned earlier, we all have a story: I’ve already had major trouble with sleep and anxiety, and even barely working part time for myself, I still do. The thing about spiritual growth, or enlightenment, is that it isn’t always peachy or comfortable. So sleep and maybe even some other health isssues have been intensified lately. Even being temporary, it will get better. Basically 10 hours of sleep one night, and 3 hours or even 0 hours the next, is not cutting it. I can feel pretty wonderful on the 10 hours of sleep days though. Silly, I know. There are all different hurdles and tests even with this. Ever evolving and changing too. What I do know for sure is that this is a learning experience. All of it is. Even something as energetically further away from spirit, like gambling, is still making room for a learning process. An inner process as well. I may have most of my family that doesn’t get it. Or doesn’t get me. That’s okay. It’s all a part of the growth. Have faith. Have hope! And believe! Again, law of attraction, baby: Ask. Believe. Receive. In that order. I leave you with a great Maya Angelou quote (angel in her name❤️) I just heard on Oprah and Deepak’s 21 day meditation, Hope in Uncertain Times. It relates to this randomness post to a tee or t?!
I hope you all had a fantastic New Year’s Eve and day. I’m not quite sure how to tell you how mine was. You see, I was supposed to have dinner at my sisters with my Mom and my sister’s family (her husband and my 6 year old nephew). The dinner was a complete backfire though because she invited people I didn’t know were coming. I basically got pissed because of this and my Mom and I left early. Later at midnight, I toasted in the new year with my brother, his girlfriend, and a few of their friends. It was a complete cheat to have a small glass of champagne, but I mean, come on, I was ringing in a new year. 2017 just feels way different than 2016. Doesn’t it? We are about to hit the first full moon of the year tomorrow, Jan 12th. This full moon in the sign of Cancer and called the Wolf moon. Due to a bunch of other aligning astrological events, big changes are underway. Plus, to point out today is 1/11. All those 1’s in angel numbers means: Watch your thoughts because they are manifesting rapidly. Oh, goosebumps!! The kind you get from talking about something you love. So only 11 days in the year and I already have some media I would like to discuss! The good, the creative, the cry worthy, and the fist-tightening or lip biting puzzling! Plus, of course, some randomness.
1) Around the holidays Rihanna came out with a song called, “Love on the Brain”. I’m not sure if any of you caught it on the radio or using Spotify, but I have to vent. I love the music so much in this song that it instantly drew me in. My hearing is bad though so I had to then after loving the vibe of the song look up the lyrics. Now I know Rihanna is messed up with her love life, and we may all be screwed up in some way or another, but maybe not the Rihanna way of being screwed up. The music is beautiful. Oh, but the lyrics are nasty! Two particular lines of lyrics (to be exact) are absolutely jaw dropping. Somehow, instead of being my sometimes prude or closed-minded self I decided I like it. She sings the lyrics so powerfully because she actually went through it herself. It’s BOLD! It’s CREATIVE! And I’m still going to say I like it. I pray no one reading this has the Rihanna way of being messed up though! Lol!
2) Anyone who hasn’t seen Meryl Streep’s Golden Globe speech that basically blew up the press immediately afterwards, has to stop everything they are doing right now and watch it. But since I am assuming you don’t live in a hole, you probably already watched it!
Ben Affleck’s response to Donald Trump’s tweet about Meryl Streep being an overrated actress is so funny and authentic. His interview on Jimmy Kimmel is also a must watch to tie in Trump’s tweet/reaction and Streep’s speech. This year is going to be a big year for media. There is going to be a constant tug of war with the truth. Make sure you stay safe, research sides, and trust your gut about what media is lying or not. Since a reality tv star is elected as our next commander in cheif, then I don’t see why anyone couldn’t listen to these beautiful words from Meryl Streep. She used a lifetime achievement award to talk about her distaste for that one incident involving Trump. She was definitely disheartened seeing it in person. Choose you sides wisely loves.
3) Been doing a bit too much gambling lately, but it’s fun. And isn’t life just one big gamble?
4) I’m still waiting for my tall, lanky, hazel-eyed, funny, sweet, handsome, successful man. I know he’s out there.
I’m super analytical and overthink, yet I am also super sensitive and feel others feelings as if they were my own. Yes, an odd mix indeed.
I love the yin yang symbol because it represents light and dark and how you have to have both to obtain balance. So heart vs mind is always a struggle for me. I’m very intuitive for a Virgo, however I don’t trust my gut feelings and just like to rebel. What ends up happening is that my overthinking tricks my heart into thinking the other person means well or has good intentions even when they don’t. This has caused a lot of pain for me.
When a guy says they really like you, they mean it. No having to dissect it. Males are simple, direct, and use as few words as possible to communicate with the opposite sex. Even in this case, when they are telling you they like you, there is no reading between the lines here.
I’m recently dating this guy that I was first talking to through online dating. We talked but never met around this same time last year. I was in a crappy place and told him I didn’t think it would be best to meet then. He said he still had my number and we started texting last month, a year later, and finally met up. After our third date, and they all were spaced out a week apart, he told me he really likes me. So sorry for sounding like a broken record like I do, but guys are simple. When they are there, I mean actually consistently visable, they are next to you…then they like you. When they say they like you, they like you. No hidden meanings, no extremities. Here’s the kicker though: I’m not sure I like him or feel the same way. I feel really bad about it too. He’s a nice guy, but I’m not feeling any physical or intellectual connection. Our first date was a cute meet up to get ice cream, we had a full lunch and a walk on the beach for our second date. And one mixed in Netflix and chill date, and a coffee date. The Netflix date barely lead to second base. I dig the slowness too. If you’re read any piece of my blog, you know that for the past couple of years I have gotten nothing but the opposite. Guys are keen to the physical a little too fast with me. I’m tired of it really.
But what do I do? It’s now about five weeks in and I don’t know how I feel about this dude. Do I break it off possibly too prematurely, string him along, or see where things go? Stringing him along is definitely not my style, so it has to be one of the other two. He’s an almost boyfriend here and I’m a little petrified!
