What I learned in 2016: a personal yet always random year in review

Can I start off by saying here in South Florida it doesn’t feel like December. Sure, it has still cooled off those 2 or 3 degrees. There are lights up. There are Christmas trees and decorations starting to show up more and more since December 1st hit.  But it just doesn’t feel like December. With that, let me transition so smoothly into my first random thought. All random. All related to something I learned in 2016. It’s been one heck of a year. 

1) 

Could there BE a funnier quote  to start with, as Chandler Bing would say? No there couldn’t be. Just like Vegas: what happens in 2016 stays in 2016.  Basically no matter how much it doesn’t feel like December, no matter how many times you say, “gee this is another year that went by too freaking fast”, no matter how much you reflect on the colossal amount of universe and personal shit that went down, the year is finally ending. For those disppointed in the election results, like I was, please remain strong. Pleasant twists and turns may be in store.  Also back to the quote or meme, it also reminds me of the movie Fight Club. “First rule of fight club, never talk about fight club”. Lol. Sayonara 2016, just Sayonara! 

2) I lived with my sister for four months out of 2016, and I have to say I took a lot from the experience. My sister has a husband and a 6 year old child. She loves me and is protective of me. But being 34 years old she just found it difficult to understand my place, and what brought me to the point in my life where I had to stay with her rent free for those months. She took me in and supported me. Being somewhat psychic, I feel she felt like a Harry Potter spell or a quick point of a magic wand would fix everything. I have had over 22 jobs that haven’t lasted since 2014. She just doesn’t get it. I am grateful I got to live with her though because it taught me no one is perfect. No one’s life is perfect. They were imperfectly who they were and I was imperfectly who I was. It’s not Facebook. It’s raw real life. They were a family, so as much as I would have been happy to stay longer, I had to be nomadic once again and move. I’ve moved too much professionally and personally. That’s been my life the past few years. And especially in 2016, I am hoping to finally say I learned from it. She doesn’t have to get me. I don’t have to get her stability. She has a family. I’ve never been married yet, but I learned your marriage and family by marriage has to always come first. When it doesn’t, that’s when you have bigger problems to fry! ❤️

3)

Going with the bullets above, I think this quote is fitting and superb. The original quote is also in the book Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson, but she only uses, “hell is other people”. I talked to my therapist this year about this quote and we agreed it really is both. It’s your own lens that perceive your opinions about others. So it truly does all start with you. Hell is other people. AND hell is yourself. Food for thought. It brings my life and love for the yin yang full circle. The full circle thing is fresh in my head thanks to the awesome Gilmore Girls revival. Maybe there is such a thing as balance out there? Or maybe like I pointed out above, maybe it’s the perfect imperfections that create an individual’s idea of balance. Life is messy, but that’s what makes it beautiful. That’s what makes it exciting. 

4) I learned this year that even with being so mobile with my career and living arrangements, I can still seek and find answers. I have a great amount of intuition and psychic ability that I don’t trust. I have to learn how to harness it and its good power. It will be the thing that makes me rise. It will be the thing that makes me peak, but continuously, not only once. I decided and was guided to make a bold move and  work for myself. It’s actually one of the main reasons I haven’t posted in a while on here. It’s completely in the beginning stages, and all that doesn’t matter. It will take time. How much time? I’m not sure. But isn’t, time anyways, all relative? It will make things sync in my life.  And what’s better than that really? 
5) 

6) 

Finally, when someone pushes you down, please remember this quote. You are perfect just the way you are. I’m still learning to forgive myself. I can forgive others a little too easily, but I must forgive myself. I’m highly sensitive, I’m emotional, and in all my imperfections, I am perfect just the way I am! 

Fuck resolutions, this is 2017 we’re talking about,

SG

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I just haven’t met you yet…

I was doing some debating in my head about guys that disappear, and then reappear. You see, I’m one of those females that have a hard time just looking at one side of the picture, so I dig for more facts. The facts that are supposed to help me choose a side, only cause more confusion most the time. So these guys vanish. Of course it matters if you go all bat shit on them, get too clingy too fast, but sometimes you may do nothing wrong at all. How the experts explain it, a guy’s worth is solely determined by how well he can make a chick happy. As Mathew Boggs says, this validates his sense of self, so if he feels he can make you happy and be the romantic partner to you that you desire, his worth is defined. If not, or he decides after the effort he put in with you that he doesn’t like you, the vanishing acts happen.  It allows the door to be open for him to reappear, and allows him to not have to man up and talk to you directly about it. And from my personal experience, this means he can reappear after however long of a length of time that he wants to. Boggs’ dating advice  is similar to Matthew Hussey, but his solutions are a lot more spiritual and law of attraction based. I think that’s cool in my opinion. Here’s Boggs full take here:

He says the steps to handle this are to remind yourself there is a great guy out there for you, release don’t resist, and finally bring yourself to state of gratitude about the situation. Be grateful the guy is leaving the opening there for someone better to come into your life. So absorbing in all Boggs’ advice, I am connecting the Michael Buble song I just haven’t met you yet. It’s kind of genius. I am saying to myself, sure I might’ve just saw a guy last week from my past, that I haven’t dated since 2011, but had sex with in 2013, blah, blah, blah, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve had over a dozen guys do the vanishing and reappearing act on me. Guys I dated briefly, guys I dated seriously, ex-boyfriends, and guys that were only flings. I am saying goodbye to all of that, and releasing it. I am perfect with saying I’m ready for these guys not to return. Period! Just new beginnings and fresh starts. Like Boggs said, my great guy is out there for me, and as Buble points out, I just haven’t met him yet.  

Xo- SG

Perfect parody

Matthew Hussey’s silly side is perfect. Pun intended.  If you haven’t seen this yet, you have too! Another parody of Matthew’s is called Fifty Shades of Earl Grey. It’s a parody of Fifty shades obviously, also making fun of Matthew’s love for tea at the same time. I bet he has a lot of girls that he loves from time to time.  Seriously still love this side of him.

Grounding tips from an ungrounded chick 

Have you ever felt up in the clouds? When everyone else has their feet planted firmly on the ground. If you answered yes, you may need to follow some of the grounding techniques I provide in this post below.  The side effects of being ungrounded are serious ones: constant money struggles (money comes and goes, but doesn’t stay.), endless agruments with your support system, being nomadic and having a shaky home foundation, being unfocused, aloof, and scattered.  I learned most of these grounding tips from Doreen Virtue and Teal Swan. 

1) Walk barefoot in the grass. This not only connects you to nature, but grounds you with the actual earth’s soil.

2) Take up gardening. Same as number 1, this is a methaper for planting your seeds in the ground.

3) Work on your root chakra. I specifically was told to do a represented flushing motion for this, taking all the negative from all the chakras, starting at the crown and flushing it out at the root.  Releasing all the negative and bringing back up to the crown only positive. This also flushes any energy that is residual and doesn’t belong to you.

4) Wear the color red, as this symbolizes the color of the root chakra.

5) Eat food that comes from the roots of the earth or that are reddish in color, like potatoes, sweet potato, beets, or strawberries.

6) Get grounding crystals such as Hematite, Smoky Quartz, and Jasper. They are darker and black in color, so not the sexiest crystals, but favorites for grounding.

Finally, it pains me to even write this, so that’s why I’m using it as a conclusion, as opposed to a numbered bullet…mediate less and/or differently. There is a false security from staying in the clouds, and an obvious observation anyone could make is meditation connects you more with spirit, not the physical plane. If you’d like to not completely float away, meditate less frequently if you feel ungrounded. Another solution would be meditate differently, for example, use guided meditation aided to help ground you and balance the root chakra.

Hope this was helpful, SG

Amy Poehler’s the shit. 

In Poehler’s book Yes, Please she writes an apology letter from the brain and apology letter from the heart. She explains the brain cares about the facts, but it’s more important to listen to the feelings.

I’m still upset with both right now because, per usual, I have a lot going on in my personal life. I enjoyed her creative writing anyhow, even through my normal day to day doses of chaos. She is beyond a smart girl, like her organization’s namesake. She’s tough and soft at the same time. She is strong and awesome and funny. Enjoy the letters and related quotes of hers below.

Follow your heart but take your brain with you?…Nah, follow your heart, even when it leads to utter nonsense,

SG

  
“Your brain is not your friend when you need to apologize. Your brain and your ego and your intellect all remind you of the ‘facts.’ … Shame is difficult. It’s a weapon and a signal. It can paralyze or motivate.”

“A word about apologizing: It’s hard to do it without digging yourself in deeper. It’s also scary and that’s why we avoid the pain. We want so badly to plead our case and tell our story. The bad news is that everybody has a story. Everyone has a version of how things went down and how they participated. It’s hard to untangle facts and feelings.”

“Any painful experience makes you see things differently. It also reminds you of the ample truths that we purposely forget every day or else we would never get out of bed. Things like, nothing lasts forever and relationships can end. The best that can happen is you learn a little more about what you can handle and you stay soft through the pain. Perhaps you feel a little wiser. Maybe your experience can be of help to others.”

Inside Out in real life.

Maybe it’s this solar lunar eclipse, but I’m compelled to rant. Over the course of the past eight months I have: completely given up drinking alcohol and soda, asked an awesome cousin to perform reiki on me and she fully delivered, reached out to a life coach through email more than once, performed a mini burning ceremony to release old loves using past letters they wrote to me, attempted a smudging technique with sage, read numerous self help books on love/self love/healing, found at least two or three new social media personalities that are experts on dating that I love (yes,love), and saw an empathic psychic.
So with all of this, what’s the result? I’m now incredibly sad whenever I am left alone with my own feelings, I still absorb others negativity like a sponge, I am still as single as can be, and I am looking for a job that adds a least a little bit of meaning to my life. And obviously with this rant, my thinking process isn’t where it’s supposed to be after all this help. So, what do I do next?
Please keep in my mind I am grateful for the family and friends that have been supportive of me. I am grateful when my spirits remain high even through all this turmoil. It makes me think my times of weakness are not really weakness at all, but are feelings that are begging to be let out. Remember in Inside Out, Sadness was the true hero, because without her we couldn’t survive anything else, or any other emotion.