Sleepless and dateless in South Florida

Unlike Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, I don’t have a legitimate reason for my sleepless nights. In the movie, he was mourning the loss of a deceased spouse. I just worry too much. Night and day difference.

As far as the movie reference goes, hope there are other 80’s babies out there that will appreciate it. To give a rundown of a typical sleepless night for me: I’ll research online about what year Sleepless and Seattle came out (1993, by the way), then I’ll stumble on Tom Papa comedy, which makes me stumble on Seinfeld comedy, then I tell myself I have to write, but then I’m too tired to write or don’t know what I’m meant to write about. After all the internet surfing you also have to keep in mind I’m taking in all that blue light from my cell phone for hours at a time. Lose, lose situation with a dash of overkill. Then like I’m in a faint dream, I see the sunrise. It still feels as glorious as if I didn’t stink from staying up all night. Then my mind thinks I’m supposed to be awake at that point. You see how this ends up being a complete nosedive? I get zero sleep or nights when I’m lucky if l get a few hours.

I’ve tried all the remedies too. Melatonin, Advil PM, and the old fashioned just being utterly exhausted. I’ve grown tolerance to most of these solutions. Now, throw in not dating to the mix, and you’ll understand why I’m searching, or well, at least looking for some writing therapy . The last guy I dated, of course another one that wasn’t my type, was the one I wrote about in my December post, I really like you a lot. This was about him telling me he liked me, when the same feelings weren’t reciprocated on my end. That’s going on six months ago, with no serious dating since 2013, and without a boyfriend since 2010. Yes, 2010. I’m over the sleepless nights. I’m over hearing I have to heal from the past and current relationships first. I’m over feeling I’m just not ready to open the door and receive a respectful, sparking, fireworks kind of love. Come on Universe, it’s been seven plus years.  I’m here on this blog to announce I’m ready. I’m deserving of this. And if some healing has to happen, it will have to take place  while I’m getting to know my new match.  I’m going to be reminded of the quote below and get outside my comfort zone. I’m going to go entirely outside my comfort zones. Comfort zones are a false sense of security anyways, and nothing, I repeat, nothing ever grows there.  I also smell one more year until a 25th movie anniversary for Sleepless. They don’t make them like that anymore. I’m hopeful for a few movies I saw coming out this year though, one is called The Big Sick. As a side note, I adore Tom Hanks too. He had my heart in this movie, and still has it now with his recent Saturday Night Live skits. And Tom Papa with his, “have you lost weight?… “You’re doing the best you can.” It’s exactly the humor I need to hear right now! What can I say, I love comedy, and like a hybrid fairy and Cherub, I love romance.

Taking my own advice and giving it out to all of you at the same time: Get out there, take that big leap of faith outside your comfort zone, and watch how fast miracles unfold. 
“People who truly loved once, are far more likely to love again”, Sleepless in Seattle

SG

Advertisements

I just haven’t met you yet…

I was doing some debating in my head about guys that disappear, and then reappear. You see, I’m one of those females that have a hard time just looking at one side of the picture, so I dig for more facts. The facts that are supposed to help me choose a side, only cause more confusion most the time. So these guys vanish. Of course it matters if you go all bat shit on them, get too clingy too fast, but sometimes you may do nothing wrong at all. How the experts explain it, a guy’s worth is solely determined by how well he can make a chick happy. As Mathew Boggs says, this validates his sense of self, so if he feels he can make you happy and be the romantic partner to you that you desire, his worth is defined. If not, or he decides after the effort he put in with you that he doesn’t like you, the vanishing acts happen.  It allows the door to be open for him to reappear, and allows him to not have to man up and talk to you directly about it. And from my personal experience, this means he can reappear after however long of a length of time that he wants to. Boggs’ dating advice  is similar to Matthew Hussey, but his solutions are a lot more spiritual and law of attraction based. I think that’s cool in my opinion. Here’s Boggs full take here:

He says the steps to handle this are to remind yourself there is a great guy out there for you, release don’t resist, and finally bring yourself to state of gratitude about the situation. Be grateful the guy is leaving the opening there for someone better to come into your life. So absorbing in all Boggs’ advice, I am connecting the Michael Buble song I just haven’t met you yet. It’s kind of genius. I am saying to myself, sure I might’ve just saw a guy last week from my past, that I haven’t dated since 2011, but had sex with in 2013, blah, blah, blah, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve had over a dozen guys do the vanishing and reappearing act on me. Guys I dated briefly, guys I dated seriously, ex-boyfriends, and guys that were only flings. I am saying goodbye to all of that, and releasing it. I am perfect with saying I’m ready for these guys not to return. Period! Just new beginnings and fresh starts. Like Boggs said, my great guy is out there for me, and as Buble points out, I just haven’t met him yet.  

Xo- SG

Perfect parody

Matthew Hussey’s silly side is perfect. Pun intended.  If you haven’t seen this yet, you have too! Another parody of Matthew’s is called Fifty Shades of Earl Grey. It’s a parody of Fifty shades obviously, also making fun of Matthew’s love for tea at the same time. I bet he has a lot of girls that he loves from time to time.  Seriously still love this side of him.

Grounding tips from an ungrounded chick 

Have you ever felt up in the clouds? When everyone else has their feet planted firmly on the ground. If you answered yes, you may need to follow some of the grounding techniques I provide in this post below.  The side effects of being ungrounded are serious ones: constant money struggles (money comes and goes, but doesn’t stay.), endless agruments with your support system, being nomadic and having a shaky home foundation, being unfocused, aloof, and scattered.  I learned most of these grounding tips from Doreen Virtue and Teal Swan. 

1) Walk barefoot in the grass. This not only connects you to nature, but grounds you with the actual earth’s soil.

2) Take up gardening. Same as number 1, this is a methaper for planting your seeds in the ground.

3) Work on your root chakra. I specifically was told to do a represented flushing motion for this, taking all the negative from all the chakras, starting at the crown and flushing it out at the root.  Releasing all the negative and bringing back up to the crown only positive. This also flushes any energy that is residual and doesn’t belong to you.

4) Wear the color red, as this symbolizes the color of the root chakra.

5) Eat food that comes from the roots of the earth or that are reddish in color, like potatoes, sweet potato, beets, or strawberries.

6) Get grounding crystals such as Hematite, Smoky Quartz, and Jasper. They are darker and black in color, so not the sexiest crystals, but favorites for grounding.

Finally, it pains me to even write this, so that’s why I’m using it as a conclusion, as opposed to a numbered bullet…mediate less and/or differently. There is a false security from staying in the clouds, and an obvious observation anyone could make is meditation connects you more with spirit, not the physical plane. If you’d like to not completely float away, meditate less frequently if you feel ungrounded. Another solution would be meditate differently, for example, use guided meditation aided to help ground you and balance the root chakra.

Hope this was helpful, SG

Amy Poehler’s the shit. 

In Poehler’s book Yes, Please she writes an apology letter from the brain and apology letter from the heart. She explains the brain cares about the facts, but it’s more important to listen to the feelings.

I’m still upset with both right now because, per usual, I have a lot going on in my personal life. I enjoyed her creative writing anyhow, even through my normal day to day doses of chaos. She is beyond a smart girl, like her organization’s namesake. She’s tough and soft at the same time. She is strong and awesome and funny. Enjoy the letters and related quotes of hers below.

Follow your heart but take your brain with you?…Nah, follow your heart, even when it leads to utter nonsense,

SG

  
“Your brain is not your friend when you need to apologize. Your brain and your ego and your intellect all remind you of the ‘facts.’ … Shame is difficult. It’s a weapon and a signal. It can paralyze or motivate.”

“A word about apologizing: It’s hard to do it without digging yourself in deeper. It’s also scary and that’s why we avoid the pain. We want so badly to plead our case and tell our story. The bad news is that everybody has a story. Everyone has a version of how things went down and how they participated. It’s hard to untangle facts and feelings.”

“Any painful experience makes you see things differently. It also reminds you of the ample truths that we purposely forget every day or else we would never get out of bed. Things like, nothing lasts forever and relationships can end. The best that can happen is you learn a little more about what you can handle and you stay soft through the pain. Perhaps you feel a little wiser. Maybe your experience can be of help to others.”

Inside Out in real life.

Maybe it’s this solar lunar eclipse, but I’m compelled to rant. Over the course of the past eight months I have: completely given up drinking alcohol and soda, asked an awesome cousin to perform reiki on me and she fully delivered, reached out to a life coach through email more than once, performed a mini burning ceremony to release old loves using past letters they wrote to me, attempted a smudging technique with sage, read numerous self help books on love/self love/healing, found at least two or three new social media personalities that are experts on dating that I love (yes,love), and saw an empathic psychic.
So with all of this, what’s the result? I’m now incredibly sad whenever I am left alone with my own feelings, I still absorb others negativity like a sponge, I am still as single as can be, and I am looking for a job that adds a least a little bit of meaning to my life. And obviously with this rant, my thinking process isn’t where it’s supposed to be after all this help. So, what do I do next?
Please keep in my mind I am grateful for the family and friends that have been supportive of me. I am grateful when my spirits remain high even through all this turmoil. It makes me think my times of weakness are not really weakness at all, but are feelings that are begging to be let out. Remember in Inside Out, Sadness was the true hero, because without her we couldn’t survive anything else, or any other emotion.