When a guy says they really like you, they mean it. No having to dissect it. Males are simple, direct, and use as few words as possible to communicate with the opposite sex. Even in this case, when they are telling you they like you, there is no reading between the lines here.
I’m recently dating this guy that I was first talking to through online dating. We talked but never met around this same time last year. I was in a crappy place and told him I didn’t think it would be best to meet then. He said he still had my number and we started texting last month, a year later, and finally met up. After our third date, and they all were spaced out a week apart, he told me he really likes me. So sorry for sounding like a broken record like I do, but guys are simple. When they are there, I mean actually consistently visable, they are next to you…then they like you. When they say they like you, they like you. No hidden meanings, no extremities. Here’s the kicker though: I’m not sure I like him or feel the same way. I feel really bad about it too. He’s a nice guy, but I’m not feeling any physical or intellectual connection. Our first date was a cute meet up to get ice cream, we had a full lunch and a walk on the beach for our second date. And one mixed in Netflix and chill date, and a coffee date. The Netflix date barely lead to second base. I dig the slowness too. If you’re read any piece of my blog, you know that for the past couple of years I have gotten nothing but the opposite. Guys are keen to the physical a little too fast with me. I’m tired of it really.
But what do I do? It’s now about five weeks in and I don’t know how I feel about this dude. Do I break it off possibly too prematurely, string him along, or see where things go? Stringing him along is definitely not my style, so it has to be one of the other two. He’s an almost boyfriend here and I’m a little petrified!
I was doing some debating in my head about guys that disappear, and then reappear. You see, I’m one of those females that have a hard time just looking at one side of the picture, so I dig for more facts. The facts that are supposed to help me choose a side, only cause more confusion most the time. So these guys vanish. Of course it matters if you go all bat shit on them, get too clingy too fast, but sometimes you may do nothing wrong at all. How the experts explain it, a guy’s worth is solely determined by how well he can make a chick happy. As Mathew Boggs says, this validates his sense of self, so if he feels he can make you happy and be the romantic partner to you that you desire, his worth is defined. If not, or he decides after the effort he put in with you that he doesn’t like you, the vanishing acts happen. It allows the door to be open for him to reappear, and allows him to not have to man up and talk to you directly about it. And from my personal experience, this means he can reappear after however long of a length of time that he wants to. Boggs’ dating advice is similar to Matthew Hussey, but his solutions are a lot more spiritual and law of attraction based. I think that’s cool in my opinion. Here’s Boggs full take here:
He says the steps to handle this are to remind yourself there is a great guy out there for you, release don’t resist, and finally bring yourself to state of gratitude about the situation. Be grateful the guy is leaving the opening there for someone better to come into your life. So absorbing in all Boggs’ advice, I am connecting the Michael Buble song I just haven’t met you yet. It’s kind of genius. I am saying to myself, sure I might’ve just saw a guy last week from my past, that I haven’t dated since 2011, but had sex with in 2013, blah, blah, blah, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve had over a dozen guys do the vanishing and reappearing act on me. Guys I dated briefly, guys I dated seriously, ex-boyfriends, and guys that were only flings. I am saying goodbye to all of that, and releasing it. I am perfect with saying I’m ready for these guys not to return. Period! Just new beginnings and fresh starts. Like Boggs said, my great guy is out there for me, and as Buble points out, I just haven’t met him yet.