The meme lover in me made me do it.


“I really like you a lot.”

When a guy says they really like you, they mean it. No having to dissect it. Males are simple, direct, and use as few words as possible to communicate with the opposite sex. Even in this case, when they are telling you they like you, there is no reading between the lines here.

I’m recently dating this guy that I was first talking to through online dating. We talked but never met around this same time last year. I was in a crappy place and told him I didn’t think it would be best to meet then. He said he still had my number and we started texting last month, a year later, and finally met up. After our third date, and they all were spaced out a week apart, he told me he really likes me. So sorry for sounding like a broken record like I do, but guys are simple. When they are there, I mean actually consistently visable, they are next to you…then they like you. When they say they like you, they like you. No hidden meanings, no extremities. Here’s the kicker though: I’m not sure I  like him or feel the same way. I feel really bad about it too. He’s a nice guy,  but I’m not feeling any physical or intellectual connection. Our first date was a cute meet up to get ice cream, we had a full lunch and a walk on the beach for our second date. And one mixed in Netflix and chill date, and a coffee date. The Netflix date barely lead to second base. I dig the slowness too. If you’re read any  piece of my blog, you know that for the past couple of years I have gotten nothing but the opposite. Guys are keen to the physical a little too fast with me. I’m tired of it really. 

But what do I do? It’s now about five weeks in and I don’t know how I feel about this dude. Do I break it off possibly too prematurely, string him along, or see where things go?  Stringing him along is definitely not my style, so it has to be one of the other two. He’s an almost boyfriend here and I’m a little petrified!

I just still haven’t met him yet?, 



So thanks to the lovely Internet and my unhealthy searching habits, I learned a new word the other night. Flirtationship. I think I may be in two of these as we speak. 😬  Only kidding…maybe. 

Have fun until the true one comes along?–But wait, I’m in my thirties


Letter to my exes 

I’ve met my soulmate.  And after almost 7 years of inconsistent, painful, and for the most part dubious dating experiences…I have finally moved on. I thank you all for the lessons you’ve taught me, no matter how hard they might’ve been. No matter how big or small. I’ve definitely learned the lessons. I forgive you all, and I forgive myself too. Everyone has a past. Everyone is imperfect.  My life on the surface looks out of control. I regularly absorb a mess of beautiful chaos that’s hard to predict from day to day, so I could understand if that’d be too much to handle full time. 

I thank you for the time you spent with me, no matter how little, too much, or sporadic it might’ve been. I have to apologize to the couple of you that I would see randomly over the years if I seemed like a different person every time we’d get together. A drinker and a sober person are worlds apart. And believe me, you guys also seemed different every time too. I appreciate that this has molded me into the chick I am today. 
The scars you left on my heart will always remain, but I’ve moved on. Finally. I hope you all experience happiness, love, and inner peace. 


The work crush, Law of Attraction, and Tinder. 

How do those three things even go together?, read and find out below my loves!!

In my previous post, New to tinder, I talked about a work crush I had, and since that post I was getting over it and not acting all nervous around him. I can say I actually succeeded and let it go. That post was in April. Looking back at this past week in the present, a whole lot went down. It’s universal, vibrational, and law of attraction based at its finest. I was working two jobs for most of this month…the retail job I worked with the work crush at and a newer office job. The office job upped my hours, so then it become a decision between the two and being upfront about the hours with the retail job. The census across the board was that it would be best and in my favor to resign from the retail job and only focus on the day office job. I was relived, yet a little sad…it was kind of bitter sweet.  The resign happened this Thursday.  Friday was the start of Memorial day weekend. Saturday night I decided to go reactivate my Tinder account. What happens next is where the amazing law of attraction comes into play. The work crush, only two days after I resigned from the job where we worked together, popped up on my beautiful iPhone screen, inside the red fire flame and white background border icon of the conspicuous app known as Tinder. He  super liked me. This is like a right swipe of approval but instead of wondering what would happen if I swiped right, it allowed me to see it sitting there especially since I couldn’t bring myself to move from his page on Saturday night for a solid hour. I saw it highlighted with the superlike at 4:30am and wasn’t asleep until after 5. The superlike is that blue star one below.

So I decided to sleep on it. I had no other choice in the matter in my mind. I was also convinced he really didn’t like me while we worked together the entire five and a half months. So, sleep deprived I even looked up articles for help. This Tinder article states options of what to do when you do run into someone you know on Tinder. They say you can do a polite hello, swipe right like a narcissist just to see what they’d do even if you really aren’t interested, or be as direct as fuck, and use Tinder for what Tinder is known for: a hookup. Yep, the latter happened. We met up by Sunday evening and it was clear as day that he wasn’t looking for a relationship but definitely eager and interested in the physical. It was a completely awkward meetup for several reasons beyond Tinder and already knowing him. We couldn’t even do what the young, cool kids nowadays are calling Netflix and chill because we both had living situations, aka roommates, that didn’t permit random guests. I only had one roommate to have that agreement with. He. Had. Seven!!!!!! Yes, you read that correct. Seven male roommates to be exact. The period, spacing, and explaination points all are only to add more unneeded emphasis.  You can pick up your jaw now. And I have to ask the lovely Universe, bringing up the law of attraction: if like attracts like, why is this example of mine “a like” attracting something still five steps behind the like or similar. Oh, my mistake, make that seven steps behind. Oh, you’re  not looking for a relationship when we don’t even have the comfort of a bed or bedroom to engage in these adult activities?? The evidence of the vibrational law of attraction match can  be found in the only hooking up aspect. Well, duh, what thirty something (we’re both in our thirties) that doesn’t even have a living situation that allows privacy or guests can really lead to anything serious?  I guess while analyzing about how much of a mismatch this all is, I ended up talking myself  into realizing how much of a match frequency, vibrationally, and law of attraction wise it actually is. Burn on myself!  At the same time, it’s exactly what I asked for, or ordered, so to speak. 

Since the meetup options threw out there was the beach or the park, the park won. We first tried a  super uncomfortable nature trail spot, that even with a thick sheet down you could feel every single pine needle though the sheet.  The good part is that’s when the making out started though. I stepped in and said we had to move. It just wasn’t comfortable in the slightest. He obliged. We found an equestrian spot across the street to park my car at, and it was empty, so we stayed parked. Then the rest that followed:  Yada Yada Yada. 

Yes, it’s fun to Yada over the best part. The car at least provided the comfort of air condition. But even with the Yada, Yada, yadas I set a boundary of no sex given the restraints of a car or else being fully outside. The work crush was a little strange and hard to read throughout the experience.  I can say confidently I was not the only one acting socially awkward. He was keeping the conversations down to a bare minimum obviously. Like I just said, he was completely unreadable, which is supposed to be an unattractive quality, but definitely didn’t get in the way of the fooling around. Being an empath, maybe not reading any emotions from him was a good thing.  My approach and awkwardness was somewhat the opposite  of his, and I was talking nervously and asking a lot of questions…but making my words fumble, my sentences too long, and my words seemed all too wordy compared to his blunt responses. Also, my hearing loss being so bad and having to say what a million times  didn’t help the awkwardness meter.  And well, my biggest fault in summary: being too nice. I learned from social media that he liked Harry Potter, so I even joked and said I’d be in Hufflepuff or the one Luna Lovegood was in (which is Ravenclaw by the way). But again, I was awkward. At the time, I couldn’t even remember the Luna character’s name. 

To conclude this way longer than necessary story, at least we gained the fun that was set out to have. I’m totally okay with that. I’m okay with waiting longer to meet my tall, hazel eyed, funny guy that gets me. Until he does show up, this fun will do. The quickness of the work crush popping out of the woodworks right after I left my job was all to good to not share though. The story as a whole was too good to not share. Thanks Tinder. You really are a gem. 

Social graces are not for the socially awkward?? Goodnight fellow singles,