I hope you all had a fantastic New Year’s Eve and day. I’m not quite sure how to tell you how mine was. You see, I was supposed to have dinner at my sisters with my Mom and my sister’s family (her husband and my 6 year old nephew). The dinner was a complete backfire though because she invited people I didn’t know were coming. I basically got pissed because of this and my Mom and I left early. Later at midnight, I toasted in the new year with my brother, his girlfriend, and a few of their friends. It was a complete cheat to have a small glass of champagne, but I mean, come on, I was ringing in a new year. 2017 just feels way different than 2016. Doesn’t it? We are about to hit the first full moon of the year tomorrow, Jan 12th. This full moon in the sign of Cancer and called the Wolf moon. Due to a bunch of other aligning astrological events, big changes are underway. Plus, to point out today is 1/11. All those 1’s in angel numbers means: Watch your thoughts because they are manifesting rapidly. Oh, goosebumps!! The kind you get from talking about something you love. So only 11 days in the year and I already have some media I would like to discuss! The good, the creative, the cry worthy, and the fist-tightening or lip biting puzzling! Plus, of course, some randomness.
1) Around the holidays Rihanna came out with a song called, “Love on the Brain”. I’m not sure if any of you caught it on the radio or using Spotify, but I have to vent. I love the music so much in this song that it instantly drew me in. My hearing is bad though so I had to then after loving the vibe of the song look up the lyrics. Now I know Rihanna is messed up with her love life, and we may all be screwed up in some way or another, but maybe not the Rihanna way of being screwed up. The music is beautiful. Oh, but the lyrics are nasty! Two particular lines of lyrics (to be exact) are absolutely jaw dropping. Somehow, instead of being my sometimes prude or closed-minded self I decided I like it. She sings the lyrics so powerfully because she actually went through it herself. It’s BOLD! It’s CREATIVE! And I’m still going to say I like it. I pray no one reading this has the Rihanna way of being messed up though! Lol!
2) Anyone who hasn’t seen Meryl Streep’s Golden Globe speech that basically blew up the press immediately afterwards, has to stop everything they are doing right now and watch it. But since I am assuming you don’t live in a hole, you probably already watched it!
Ben Affleck’s response to Donald Trump’s tweet about Meryl Streep being an overrated actress is so funny and authentic. His interview on Jimmy Kimmel is also a must watch to tie in Trump’s tweet/reaction and Streep’s speech. This year is going to be a big year for media. There is going to be a constant tug of war with the truth. Make sure you stay safe, research sides, and trust your gut about what media is lying or not. Since a reality tv star is elected as our next commander in cheif, then I don’t see why anyone couldn’t listen to these beautiful words from Meryl Streep. She used a lifetime achievement award to talk about her distaste for that one incident involving Trump. She was definitely disheartened seeing it in person. Choose you sides wisely loves.
3) Been doing a bit too much gambling lately, but it’s fun. And isn’t life just one big gamble?
4) I’m still waiting for my tall, lanky, hazel-eyed, funny, sweet, handsome, successful man. I know he’s out there.
When a guy says they really like you, they mean it. No having to dissect it. Males are simple, direct, and use as few words as possible to communicate with the opposite sex. Even in this case, when they are telling you they like you, there is no reading between the lines here.
I’m recently dating this guy that I was first talking to through online dating. We talked but never met around this same time last year. I was in a crappy place and told him I didn’t think it would be best to meet then. He said he still had my number and we started texting last month, a year later, and finally met up. After our third date, and they all were spaced out a week apart, he told me he really likes me. So sorry for sounding like a broken record like I do, but guys are simple. When they are there, I mean actually consistently visable, they are next to you…then they like you. When they say they like you, they like you. No hidden meanings, no extremities. Here’s the kicker though: I’m not sure I like him or feel the same way. I feel really bad about it too. He’s a nice guy, but I’m not feeling any physical or intellectual connection. Our first date was a cute meet up to get ice cream, we had a full lunch and a walk on the beach for our second date. And one mixed in Netflix and chill date, and a coffee date. The Netflix date barely lead to second base. I dig the slowness too. If you’re read any piece of my blog, you know that for the past couple of years I have gotten nothing but the opposite. Guys are keen to the physical a little too fast with me. I’m tired of it really.
But what do I do? It’s now about five weeks in and I don’t know how I feel about this dude. Do I break it off possibly too prematurely, string him along, or see where things go? Stringing him along is definitely not my style, so it has to be one of the other two. He’s an almost boyfriend here and I’m a little petrified!
I’ve met my soulmate. And after almost 7 years of inconsistent, painful, and for the most part dubious dating experiences…I have finally moved on. I thank you all for the lessons you’ve taught me, no matter how hard they might’ve been. No matter how big or small. I’ve definitely learned the lessons. I forgive you all, and I forgive myself too. Everyone has a past. Everyone is imperfect. My life on the surface looks out of control. I regularly absorb a mess of beautiful chaos that’s hard to predict from day to day, so I could understand if that’d be too much to handle full time.
I thank you for the time you spent with me, no matter how little, too much, or sporadic it might’ve been. I have to apologize to the couple of you that I would see randomly over the years if I seemed like a different person every time we’d get together. A drinker and a sober person are worlds apart. And believe me, you guys also seemed different every time too. I appreciate that this has molded me into the chick I am today.
The scars you left on my heart will always remain, but I’ve moved on. Finally. I hope you all experience happiness, love, and inner peace.