Sleepless and dateless in South Florida

Unlike Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, I don’t have a legitimate reason for my sleepless nights. In the movie, he was mourning the loss of a deceased spouse. I just worry too much. Night and day difference.

As far as the movie reference goes, hope there are other 80’s babies out there that will appreciate it. To give a rundown of a typical sleepless night for me: I’ll research online about what year Sleepless and Seattle came out (1993, by the way), then I’ll stumble on Tom Papa comedy, which makes me stumble on Seinfeld comedy, then I tell myself I have to write, but then I’m too tired to write or don’t know what I’m meant to write about. After all the internet surfing you also have to keep in mind I’m taking in all that blue light from my cell phone for hours at a time. Lose, lose situation with a dash of overkill. Then like I’m in a faint dream, I see the sunrise. It still feels as glorious as if I didn’t stink from staying up all night. Then my mind thinks I’m supposed to be awake at that point. You see how this ends up being a complete nosedive? I get zero sleep or nights when I’m lucky if l get a few hours.

I’ve tried all the remedies too. Melatonin, Advil PM, and the old fashioned just being utterly exhausted. I’ve grown tolerance to most of these solutions. Now, throw in not dating to the mix, and you’ll understand why I’m searching, or well, at least looking for some writing therapy . The last guy I dated, of course another one that wasn’t my type, was the one I wrote about in my December post, I really like you a lot. This was about him telling me he liked me, when the same feelings weren’t reciprocated on my end. That’s going on six months ago, with no serious dating since 2013, and without a boyfriend since 2010. Yes, 2010. I’m over the sleepless nights. I’m over hearing I have to heal from the past and current relationships first. I’m over feeling I’m just not ready to open the door and receive a respectful, sparking, fireworks kind of love. Come on Universe, it’s been seven plus years.  I’m here on this blog to announce I’m ready. I’m deserving of this. And if some healing has to happen, it will have to take place  while I’m getting to know my new match.  I’m going to be reminded of the quote below and get outside my comfort zone. I’m going to go entirely outside my comfort zones. Comfort zones are a false sense of security anyways, and nothing, I repeat, nothing ever grows there.  I also smell one more year until a 25th movie anniversary for Sleepless. They don’t make them like that anymore. I’m hopeful for a few movies I saw coming out this year though, one is called The Big Sick. As a side note, I adore Tom Hanks too. He had my heart in this movie, and still has it now with his recent Saturday Night Live skits. And Tom Papa with his, “have you lost weight?… “You’re doing the best you can.” It’s exactly the humor I need to hear right now! What can I say, I love comedy, and like a hybrid fairy and Cherub, I love romance.

Taking my own advice and giving it out to all of you at the same time: Get out there, take that big leap of faith outside your comfort zone, and watch how fast miracles unfold. 
“People who truly loved once, are far more likely to love again”, Sleepless in Seattle



A letter to my Dad on Valentine’s Day 

Dear Papa bear,

It’s amazing you’ve been gone since 2005. Last year making a whopping ten years. Where does the time go? Time… Yeah that’s not something that can really be talked about in full detail here or else this letter will be 100 pages long. I’m always late though, you know that, and like you…I like to take my time. Everything is such a rush nowadays. I feel to be rushed is awful. It’s all instant  gratification now with all the technology. I would like to just slow down. Create some time of my own on my own.  Actually live my life while I’m here. Instead of the lateness or instead of the waiting. 

I miss you a bunch but this is a pretty nice alternative to an actual conversation. You were a great Dad. You were the calm one. You were the one who loved to eat out once a week. You were the smart one. You were the night owl when mom was always the early riser.  You were the dry sense of humor and funny out of no where one. You were the one that liked to talk about driving horses, gambling on horses, or construction. Being a veteran, sanka, or having a wife almost twenty years younger than you…maybe less popular conversation starters? Lol. 

I know you hear my prayers. So please keep watching out for everyone, including me. Struggle is a part of life but is not meant to be this permanent. Actually, I refuse for it to be permnant. I did get my stubbornness from you after all.

And…I love you Dad with every scattered thought I have and with all the broken scarred parts of my heart. Happy Valentine’s in heaven. You are missed and I’m forever thinking of you.


gilmorisms are the best   

I have an older Mom still kicking, and had a much, much older Dad growing up, so you’d think I wouldn’t relate much to the Gilmore Girls, right? I guess I just see my sister and I, I guess I just see two best friends. I see two strong/strong-headed chicks.  Gilmorisms are the best!

Happy Easter or what you may be celebrating,

Single girl