7 Reasons why Tinder is a game changer (and not in a good way) 

1) Requests for threesomes are everywhere, or at least way too commonplace. Usually the profile picture will be of the couple and the description will be asking for another female. Wait, so this could actually be more popular only in my  state of Florida. Disgusting and disappointing. Is anyone monogamous anymore?

2) People you know offline pop up a lot and it’s awkward. Really awkward. (Even more so when you’re socially awkward in real life too!) …if this happens to me again in the future I’m only swiping right out of courtesy, not to hookup!

3) A thirty-something year old guy on Tinder taught me the word Camgirl solely because he decided to include it in his profile.  It’s an urban dictionary word and just like it sounds means chicks on Tinder can be camera girls, as in also kind of being a professional at it. Ugh! 

4) Proximity couldn’t be more of an important word for Tinder. Why isn’t this app called Proximity. That’s genius! 

5) Going hand in hand with #4, people that live close to you could end up showing 500 miles or plus away when they use Tinder for travel pleasure. Really??? Ugh again. By the way, you’d have to have a chat with them saved, or another easy way to see their profile again to notice the distance change. Besides the chat, the only other way this could happen happen is if you deactivate and reactivate your profile. 

6) Initiating an actual chat conversation with a match feels like striking gold. But why? Why do people match with someone they swiped right for to just let the match collect dust with no intention of communication?

7) Tinder is relevant yet totally superficial at the same time. Lord have mercy??!

  

The work crush, Law of Attraction, and Tinder. 

How do those three things even go together?..lol, read and find out below my loves!!

In my previous post, New to tinder, I talked about a work crush I had, and since that post I was getting over it and not acting all nervous around him. I can say I actually succeeded and let it go. That post was in April. Looking back at this past week in the present, a whole lot went down. It’s universal, vibrational, and law of attraction based at its finest. I was working two jobs for most of this month…the retail job I worked with the work crush at and a newer office job. The office job upped my hours, so then it become a decision between the two and being upfront about the hours with the retail job. The census across the board was that it would be best and in my favor to resign from the retail job and only focus on the day office job. I was relived, yet a little sad…it was kind of bitter sweet.  The resign happened this Thursday.  Friday was the start of Memorial day weekend. Saturday night I decided to go reactivate my Tinder account. What happens next is where the amazing law of attraction comes into play. The work crush, only two days after I resigned from the job where we worked together, popped up on my beautiful iPhone screen, inside the red fire flame and white background border icon of the conspicuous app known as Tinder. He  super liked me. This is like a right swipe of approval but instead of wondering what would happen if I swiped right, it allowed me to see it sitting there especially since I couldn’t bring myself to move from his page on Saturday night for a solid hour. I saw it highlighted with the superlike at 4:30am and wasn’t asleep until after 5. The superlike is that blue star one below.


So I decided to sleep on it. I had no other choice in the matter in my mind. I was also convinced he really didn’t like me while we worked together the entire five and a half months. So, sleep deprived I even looked up articles for help. This Tinder article states options of what to do when you do run into someone you know on Tinder. They say you can do a polite hello, swipe right like a narcissist just to see what they’d do even if you really aren’t interested, or be as direct as fuck, and use Tinder for what Tinder is known for: a hookup. Yep, the latter happened. We met up by Sunday evening and it was clear as day that he wasn’t looking for a relationship but definitely eager and interested in the physical. It was a completely awkward meetup for several reasons beyond Tinder and already knowing him. We couldn’t even do what the young, cool kids nowadays are calling Netflix and chill because we both had living situations, aka roommates, that didn’t permit random guests. I only had one roommate to have that agreement with. He. Had. Seven!!!!!! Yes, you read that correct. Seven male roommates to be exact. The period, spacing, and explaination points all are only to add more unneeded emphasis.  You can pick up your jaw now. And I have to ask the lovely Universe, bringing up the law of attraction: if like attracts like, why is this example of mine “a like” attracting something still five steps behind the like or similar. Oh, my mistake, make that seven steps behind. Oh, you’re  not looking for a relationship when we don’t even have the comfort of a bed or bedroom to engage in these adult activities?? The evidence of the vibrational law of attraction match can  be found in the only hooking up aspect. Well, duh, what thirty something (we’re both in our thirties) that doesn’t even have a living situation that allows privacy or guests can really lead to anything serious?  I guess while analyzing about how much of a mismatch this all is, I ended up talking myself  into realizing how much of a match frequency, vibrationally, and law of attraction wise it actually is. Burn on myself!  At the same time, it’s exactly what I asked for, or ordered, so to speak. 

Since the meetup options threw out there was the beach or the park, the park won. We first tried a  super uncomfortable nature trail spot, that even with a thick sheet down you could feel every single pine needle though the sheet.  The good part is that’s when the making out started though. I stepped in and said we had to move. It just wasn’t comfortable in the slightest. He obliged. We found an equestrian spot across the street to park my car at, and it was empty, so we stayed parked. Then the rest that followed:  Yada Yada Yada. 

Yes, it’s fun to Yada over the best part. The car at least provided the comfort of air condition. But even with the Yada, Yada, yadas I set a boundary of no sex given the restraints of a car or else being fully outside. The work crush was a little strange and hard to read throughout the experience.  I can say confidently I was not the only one acting socially awkward. He was keeping the conversations down to a bare minimum obviously. Like I just said, he was completely unreadable, which is supposed to be an unattractive quality, but definitely didn’t get in the way of the fooling around. Being an empath, maybe not reading any emotions from him was a good thing.  My approach and awkwardness was somewhat the opposite  of his, and I was talking nervously and asking a lot of questions…but making my words fumble, my sentences too long, and my words seemed all too wordy compared to his blunt responses. Also, my hearing loss being so bad and having to say what a million times  didn’t help the awkwardness meter.  And well, my biggest fault in summary: being too nice. I learned from social media that he liked Harry Potter, so I even joked and said I’d be in Hufflepuff or the one Luna Lovegood was in (which is Ravenclaw by the way). But again, I was awkward. At the time, I couldn’t even remember the Luna character’s name. 

To conclude this way longer than necessary story, at least we gained the fun that was set out to have. I’m totally okay with that. I’m okay with waiting longer to meet my tall, hazel eyed, funny guy that gets me. Until he does show up, this fun will do. The quickness of the work crush popping out of the woodworks right after I left my job was all to good to not share though. The story as a whole was too good to not share. Thanks Tinder. You really are a gem. 

Social graces are not for the socially awkward?? Goodnight fellow singles,

SG 

Three Date Rule and the Three day rule

The three date rule states some variation of the fact that sex should be initiated by the third date. Or at least the interest level should be determined to decide if sex will happen or not. Given my most recent dating experience I have to agree with it. I don’t give a crap if it’s an old rule or unproven rule. It’s one that makes sense.

I just met a guy online and we met in person pretty fast. Let me stop right there and say sometimes that is even hard to do. People back out, get sucked in by other things going on, or simply meet too many other people online at the same time. It’s a whirlwind really and sometimes you have to be that squeaky wheel begging for the oil.

So I met a guy online and it went something like this: Date one: coffee meet up turned into Greek food apps. Date two: I went to his place. He wasn’t much of a tv lover, so some talking happened. No tv. Some kissing, some fooling around. Date three: same as date two but the determination had to be made about the sex. Don’t ask me why… Probably having nothing to do with the three date rule, sex was presented, and the decision all up to little, old me. The final verdict: not this time! Not interested! I suppose I used the three date rule without even realizing it. I say why not reinvent it to your own individual style. Whatever point it takes so you can decide and judge your physical and intimate interest level. I’ve had a “spark” on a first date before (You can see my older post, The Gemini, for a little more on that) and know it will happen again. And happen with someone where it isn’t all about the physical either. It will be a nice balance of the two, physical and intellect.

So here’s a cool article about rules better than the three-DAY rule, which let’s face facts, can easily be mixed up with the three date rule. And it’s another super outdated rule. The Huff post article mentions dating rules you should follow over waiting three days to call. I really dig them all, especially the last one that states the only thing you can control in a relationship is yourself. All and all, still connected to today’s dating, since all rules for online dating are becoming more and more obsolete…If there are any dating rules still being followed at all.

Once a rebel, always a rebel,

Single Girl

Dating Naked show getting sued? Who cares, the Onion rocks…

Late last night I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed. First, I saw a People article posted about some chick suing over breach of contract as a contestant on a show, are you ready for this, wait for it, Dating Naked.  Then right below that article, I see the Onion posted a share from the AV club about the same article.

What had me thinking more than I should about this were the random comments to the Onion post. The Onion is satire, but in the same sense, real. So, just because something happens to be ridiculous, like, “man decides he’s taking lunch at 10:30am, hungry again too early,” these are still real people being interviewed. People don’t get that. So a comment or two even thought The Onion share was a fake article. The comments ranged to the typical perverts: So where can I see her goods that they didn’t blur out?, to silly girls defending her: Hey, she has the right to sue, they told her her crotch would be censored, to, so she’s suing about being shown naked as a participant of a tv show called Dating Naked? Makes perfect sense. Also going by the comments, apparently you could find the goods in question by doing a simple Google search? America you are greatest! lol. 

I could care less about the legal jargon and I definitely don’t know enough about it to care. But the comments did open my eyes to how awesome the Onion really is. Real or fake, satire or not, the Onion article was still more entertaining to read. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous the story, the Onion is the funniest. You can be the judge by looking at both articles I linked above. The Onion, I heart you. Rock on.

Happy weekend, 

Single Girl 

In a relationship and it’s complicated

Facebook, a.k.a. the devil, has a relationship status listed, that instead of single, married, widowed, etc., allows you to actually choose that you’re in a relationship and it’s complicated. Many of you avid Facebook users would already know about this. Like me. Which is wonderful.

I just had recently had the pleasant experience (more sarcasm) of going on a date with a guy about a month or so ago that had this very status displayed on his Facebook. Let me tell you how this smooth criminal operated. We had a first date. During the first date he asked me if he could request me on Facebook. I obliged. Him and I **cough cough** hung out. After hanging out with him I accepted him as a friend and that’s when I saw his relationship status.

You may be wondering was there some reasoning behind it? Sadly there was. He had an 11 month old baby. So obviously, the complicated relationship was with the baby’s mama. Not trying to get all ghetto fabulous, but just telling a story.

He’s contacted me on and off since the first date. I’ve luckily dodged the bullet of seeing him again though.

Here’s my status:

waitingibamiracle

Are there actually any “available” guys out there?,

Single Girl Woes

The therapist hook-up

If this makes any sense, I am really trying to only create distraction while using online dating right now, probably in hopes of finding love offline…so with that being said, I have  been actively back on the free site Plenty of Fish. In the mist of this pursuit, I had a lot of guys stop talking to me before they even met me in person. My explanation for this is too much quantity on the site (maybe because it’s free?), but maybe it’s also because there’s too many men on it only looking to hook up. It’s like,  HELLO, go use a hook up site instead…There are plenty of them out there, I want to date damn it!

Getting back on track,  I did meet a man in person about only a week and a half ago, a 40-year-old therapist. Yes, like a psychology therapist that a person would pay money to lay down on a couch and tell their problems to. This kind of blew my mind alone, before meeting him, I instantly thought, “Man, give me a free session on my dating life!” With all joking aside though, I was still trying to get to know him as an individual to decide if he would be someone I would be interested in dating or not.

The order of events were quite simple. I spoke to Therapist dude very briefly online on POF. We exchanged phone numbers, then we texted a little the first night. The second night we talked on the phone. We talked about his job a bit. He was straight forward about liking adventure. He quote unquote said…”If I didn’t seek adventure outside of my job, I would lose my sanity.” How he broke it down, I understood where he was coming from. That phone call lead into a little naughtiness because he was very assertive, and I really dug his voice. He wanted to meet in person after that. But you wouldn’t have to be a genius to predict that he wanted to meet for the adventure…he wanted to meet for fun.

The next night we had the plans to go out and meet for a drink. The date was set for 10 o’clock due to his schedule. It seemed all fine. He texted to make sure we were still on for the date a couple hours before and everything. Well, 10 turned into 11:30. And the drink date turned into him coming over to my place.

When I met him I was totally undecided about my interest level. The voice I fell in love in didn’t hold up to the fact that profile pictures can sometimes seem ten times better than the person in real life. What made matters even worse was that he didn’t give me any time to decide if I wanted to get physical, as Olivia Newton John would put it. He was almost a little forceful, like he was on the phone, but luckily I told him I wanted him to stop, and he stopped. I was grateful he wasn’t a complete crazy or a bad guy, because if either held true, the situation could have ended a lot differently. I guess the adventure seeking part was a dead give away, but this just makes me want to be more cautious of who I invite into my little world. Well, I got a story out of it anyway…The therapist hook up. The therapist fail!

Have fun but be safe,

Single Girl Woes