Sleepless and dateless in South Florida

Unlike Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, I don’t have a legitimate reason for my sleepless nights. In the movie, he was mourning the loss of a deceased spouse. I just worry too much. Night and day difference.

As far as the movie reference goes, hope there are other 80’s babies out there that will appreciate it. To give a rundown of a typical sleepless night for me: I’ll research online about what year Sleepless and Seattle came out (1993, by the way), then I’ll stumble on Tom Papa comedy, which makes me stumble on Seinfeld comedy, then I tell myself I have to write, but then I’m too tired to write or don’t know what I’m meant to write about. After all the internet surfing you also have to keep in mind I’m taking in all that blue light from my cell phone for hours at a time. Lose, lose situation with a dash of overkill. Then like I’m in a faint dream, I see the sunrise. It still feels as glorious as if I didn’t stink from staying up all night. Then my mind thinks I’m supposed to be awake at that point. You see how this ends up being a complete nosedive? I get zero sleep or nights when I’m lucky if l get a few hours.

I’ve tried all the remedies too. Melatonin, Advil PM, and the old fashioned just being utterly exhausted. I’ve grown tolerance to most of these solutions. Now, throw in not dating to the mix, and you’ll understand why I’m searching, or well, at least looking for some writing therapy . The last guy I dated, of course another one that wasn’t my type, was the one I wrote about in my December post, I really like you a lot. This was about him telling me he liked me, when the same feelings weren’t reciprocated on my end. That’s going on six months ago, with no serious dating since 2013, and without a boyfriend since 2010. Yes, 2010. I’m over the sleepless nights. I’m over hearing I have to heal from the past and current relationships first. I’m over feeling I’m just not ready to open the door and receive a respectful, sparking, fireworks kind of love. Come on Universe, it’s been seven plus years.  I’m here on this blog to announce I’m ready. I’m deserving of this. And if some healing has to happen, it will have to take place  while I’m getting to know my new match.  I’m going to be reminded of the quote below and get outside my comfort zone. I’m going to go entirely outside my comfort zones. Comfort zones are a false sense of security anyways, and nothing, I repeat, nothing ever grows there.  I also smell one more year until a 25th movie anniversary for Sleepless. They don’t make them like that anymore. I’m hopeful for a few movies I saw coming out this year though, one is called The Big Sick. As a side note, I adore Tom Hanks too. He had my heart in this movie, and still has it now with his recent Saturday Night Live skits. And Tom Papa with his, “have you lost weight?… “You’re doing the best you can.” It’s exactly the humor I need to hear right now! What can I say, I love comedy, and like a hybrid fairy and Cherub, I love romance.

Taking my own advice and giving it out to all of you at the same time: Get out there, take that big leap of faith outside your comfort zone, and watch how fast miracles unfold. 
“People who truly loved once, are far more likely to love again”, Sleepless in Seattle

SG

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Heartbreak

I didn’t think heartache or heartbreak could come so out of blue, but believe me, it can. I was listening to iTunes Mixtape late Friday night when two songs prompted a response and sadness in me I’ve neglected for a really long time. I was so moved by this emotion I posted the picture on my Instagram and Facebook account. Oh, and of course also adding the intentional pun,”Well-played Universe.”


Even through the pain I joked and said that on the sadness scale, Green Day’s Wake me up when September ends and The Cure’s Pictures of you would’ve worked just as perfect.

As far as the two songs that actually did play, When I come around  played first and I have a connection to this song going all the way back to high school, yes, 15 some years ago. It connects to my adult life as well because I’m an empath. Being an empath it’s easy to be cynical because you sometimes have to dig to find your own feelings. The empath qualities have made me take pieces, sometimes big pieces, of guys I’m in relationships with, and make them my own. Green day is my favorite band, maybe part because I really like them, but also because they were a big part of someone I dated then. Now onto Fade into you, no personal connection to a specific person with this song, but come on. It explains the essence of what an empath does being in a relationship, besides having the saddest melody ever! From my own personal experiences, when I don’t take a piece of the person’s strong value or interest, I definitely take on their feelings. Oh you’re feeling pain? Let me take that from you. Oh, you’re feeling shame? I’ll take that too. You feel hurt and resentment? My speciality! That’s the thing about empaths, they must not only shield themselves from harsh energy, but clear away energy and emotions that actually don’t belong to them. This proves as difficult as it sounds because when you absorb so much externally, you own energy drowns in the process. It’s a constant shield and clearing battle.

With all this backstory, what’s the solution to heartache? Well, that’s where handy and beautiful social media comes into play. 😉The adorable Matthew Hussey explains in the video below distraction is only a temporary fix for heartache.  For example, drinking, or sleeping with someone else right away…it may numb the feeling for the moment, but that’s all. He strongly advises against that! What he says to do is make progress in your own life. Meaningful progress. He says drowning in your work, that’s just another distraction tactic. But actually do something that makes you feel alive and that you’re passionate about. He says even a baby step to some bigger progress is good. If it improves the quality of your life, you’re heading in the right direction to ease the pain and not just mask it.

Thank you for the advice Mr. Hussey! It couldn’t have come at a more perfect time for this sensitive empath!

“If one of the most important things in life is love, then suffering because of love, is clearly going to be one of the most painful things.” Matthew Hussey

The Mastery of Love by Ruiz

  

 

The Mastery of Love by Ruiz was given to me as a recommendation from a life coach I’ve kept in touch with. I was getting my thoughts  together to journal about it but for some reason my mind was having a hard time just focusing on one idea or feeling from the book. I’m halfway through the 200 page book now and I’m feeling frustrated, and I think that feeling has changed about a dozen times in between, and will continue to be fleeting. You see the central themes of the book, given in small doses of short stories are this: the simple yet powerful wisdom of the Toltec, self-love, and how self-love allows you to be in a loving, completely non-fear based relationship.

The thing that kind of frustrated me right off the bat about book was Ruiz’s explanation of emotional scars, that when they don’t heal, turn into emotional poison. The basic premise of this was that since we are born into the society we are born in to this fate is predestined. He basically makes it sound like anyone reading the book is damaged goods, but says it in a way, like hey, that’s okay, because we are all damaged from emotional scars that can turn into poison. The trick is to heal what you can. Accept everything outside yourself you have no control over. And accept yourself. He says we are ever only responsible for one half of a relationship, and that’s our half, not our partners half.

One of the stories I really liked was about the man that didn’t believe in love. He said love didn’t exist because in all relationships there is the addict, and then the supplier to the addict. One day the man that didn’t believe in love saw a girl crying and he asked the girl why she was crying. She said I don’t believe in love. The man thought this was fantastic that someone shared his idea about love and they become the bestest of friends. Then after becoming friends the man said, I know this sounds crazy but I think this feeling I feel for you is love. The girl reciprocated and said I think this feeling I have for you is love. Then one day the man caught his happiness within a star in the sky and he grabbed it. He was so excited to share his happiness with the girl he loved. He placed the star, his happiness, in the palm of the girl’s hand, and she immediately shattered it. Ruiz says, who was wrong, the guy or the girl? The guy was wrong, Ruiz says, because he was holding the girl responsible for his happiness, when he put the star, his happiness, in her hands, and this immediately became too much for her. The moral: we are the only ones responsible for our happiness. 

So as of right now, my confusion from the book Ruiz would just label fear, is okay. Maybe by the time I finish it in another week or so, that fear will leave and be replaced with love. I’ve picked out some good passages from the book below , and hope you all take something from it and enjoy. No one said the journey to self discovery and self acceptance would be a cakewalk. 

Opening up my heart chakra,

The awesome single girl

   

        
   

   
  

  

He’s Just Not That Into You…

The debut year for this movie was 2009, really, where does the time go? It flies away!!! I know this film has snippets of great lines and great advice all throughout it, but I just re-watched it the other night and only one scene resonated with me more than the rest. I just related to it so freaking much more than any other scenario in the entire movie.

For those of you not familiar with the movie, the character Gigi hung around for a party that her guy friend Alex threw and she thought she was there as more than a guest. She was pouring her heart out, acting like a sweet, bubbly girlfriend-to-be, putting herself out there that so that Alex would understand she picked up on his signals. The signals he was giving to suggest he liked her. She threw herself at him for a chance at love…and he didn’t respond at all. This all led up to the quote below.  In my opinion, it wins best overall monologue of the entire movie. (Gotta love the cursing too):

Gigi: “I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You’ve think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don’t fall in love that way either. You have not won. You’re alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I’m still a lot closer to love than you are.”

Closer than yesterday?,

Single Girl (Rules)