I just haven’t met you yet…

I was doing some debating in my head about guys that disappear, and then reappear. You see, I’m one of those females that have a hard time just looking at one side of the picture, so I dig for more facts. The facts that are supposed to help me choose a side, only cause more confusion most the time. So these guys vanish. Of course it matters if you go all bat shit on them, get too clingy too fast, but sometimes you may do nothing wrong at all. How the experts explain it, a guy’s worth is solely determined by how well he can make a chick happy. As Mathew Boggs says, this validates his sense of self, so if he feels he can make you happy and be the romantic partner to you that you desire, his worth is defined. If not, or he decides after the effort he put in with you that he doesn’t like you, the vanishing acts happen.  It allows the door to be open for him to reappear, and allows him to not have to man up and talk to you directly about it. And from my personal experience, this means he can reappear after however long of a length of time that he wants to. Boggs’ dating advice  is similar to Matthew Hussey, but his solutions are a lot more spiritual and law of attraction based. I think that’s cool in my opinion. Here’s Boggs full take here:

He says the steps to handle this are to remind yourself there is a great guy out there for you, release don’t resist, and finally bring yourself to state of gratitude about the situation. Be grateful the guy is leaving the opening there for someone better to come into your life. So absorbing in all Boggs’ advice, I am connecting the Michael Buble song I just haven’t met you yet. It’s kind of genius. I am saying to myself, sure I might’ve just saw a guy last week from my past, that I haven’t dated since 2011, but had sex with in 2013, blah, blah, blah, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve had over a dozen guys do the vanishing and reappearing act on me. Guys I dated briefly, guys I dated seriously, ex-boyfriends, and guys that were only flings. I am saying goodbye to all of that, and releasing it. I am perfect with saying I’m ready for these guys not to return. Period! Just new beginnings and fresh starts. Like Boggs said, my great guy is out there for me, and as Buble points out, I just haven’t met him yet.  

Xo- SG

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Letter to money. 

The letter to money idea is presented in the book, You are a Badass, by Jen Sincero. In the book she says to respect money, release any old fear or resentment towards money, and to not be poverty proud throughout life. She states money is currency therefore currency is energy. She teaches eliminate using the word can’t, and to always bring your consciousness to a place of abundance, not lack. Speaking in terms of lack only creates more lack. She continues saying that to align your energy with the financial abundance you seek, there must be zero feelings of conflict, resentment, or resistance.  Besides writing the letter to money to release any bad feelings that you may carry for it, she also suggests to be really detailed with numbers and research so that you know clearly where you are and where you would like to be. A manfesto is awesome for this general idea as well. She mentions that including specific amounts that you like to spend on yourself and others, or donate, are all pinpointing starting points. Write  down the specific amount you’d like to always keep in your bank account. Something as simple as saying the statement money comes to me all the time could even be a helpful beginning. Thank you Jen Sincero for your incredible ideas! Now let’s bring this all into fruition.

Letter to money:

Dear ever lasting, keen, sneaky, maybe not so evil after all, money,

I used to have an unhealthy love/hate relationship with you, kind of exactly like my relationship with Facebook. That all comes to an end now.
I am writing to surrender my ill-feelings, regret, and fear I hold towards you. You have been there for me many times before, and continue to me there for me again and again. One specific time you were there for me was when I lived alone and worked as an administrative assistant between the years 2012-2014. I made good money there and it was a job I was skilled at and liked a lot.

I am beyond grateful and thankful when you appear to help with my life. You’re always there plenty for me to have food, shelter, or even get my toes done (did). I have the respect for you to appear to help with the holistic health I am inspired to pursue,which brings me inner well being, peace, and physical health.

I will always have a minimum of $2500 in my bank account and donate 10% of what I make. I have complete financial freedom.

MONEY COMES TO ME ALL THE TIME!!!

I love you money and the joy you bring into my life. Please allow me to heal any of my trust issues and resistance I have with you. Please forgive me for my harshness or contradicting feelings towards you. I deserve to receive my best so I can give my best.

Signed faithfully and with much belief,

SG

The Mastery of Love by Ruiz

  

 

The Mastery of Love by Ruiz was given to me as a recommendation from a life coach I’ve kept in touch with. I was getting my thoughts  together to journal about it but for some reason my mind was having a hard time just focusing on one idea or feeling from the book. I’m halfway through the 200 page book now and I’m feeling frustrated, and I think that feeling has changed about a dozen times in between, and will continue to be fleeting. You see the central themes of the book, given in small doses of short stories are this: the simple yet powerful wisdom of the Toltec, self-love, and how self-love allows you to be in a loving, completely non-fear based relationship.

The thing that kind of frustrated me right off the bat about book was Ruiz’s explanation of emotional scars, that when they don’t heal, turn into emotional poison. The basic premise of this was that since we are born into the society we are born in to this fate is predestined. He basically makes it sound like anyone reading the book is damaged goods, but says it in a way, like hey, that’s okay, because we are all damaged from emotional scars that can turn into poison. The trick is to heal what you can. Accept everything outside yourself you have no control over. And accept yourself. He says we are ever only responsible for one half of a relationship, and that’s our half, not our partners half.

One of the stories I really liked was about the man that didn’t believe in love. He said love didn’t exist because in all relationships there is the addict, and then the supplier to the addict. One day the man that didn’t believe in love saw a girl crying and he asked the girl why she was crying. She said I don’t believe in love. The man thought this was fantastic that someone shared his idea about love and they become the bestest of friends. Then after becoming friends the man said, I know this sounds crazy but I think this feeling I feel for you is love. The girl reciprocated and said I think this feeling I have for you is love. Then one day the man caught his happiness within a star in the sky and he grabbed it. He was so excited to share his happiness with the girl he loved. He placed the star, his happiness, in the palm of the girl’s hand, and she immediately shattered it. Ruiz says, who was wrong, the guy or the girl? The guy was wrong, Ruiz says, because he was holding the girl responsible for his happiness, when he put the star, his happiness, in her hands, and this immediately became too much for her. The moral: we are the only ones responsible for our happiness. 

So as of right now, my confusion from the book Ruiz would just label fear, is okay. Maybe by the time I finish it in another week or so, that fear will leave and be replaced with love. I’ve picked out some good passages from the book below , and hope you all take something from it and enjoy. No one said the journey to self discovery and self acceptance would be a cakewalk. 

Opening up my heart chakra,

The awesome single girl