What I learned in 2016: a personal yet always random year in review

Can I start off by saying here in South Florida it doesn’t feel like December. Sure, it has still cooled off those 2 or 3 degrees. There are lights up. There are Christmas trees and decorations starting to show up more and more since December 1st hit.  But it just doesn’t feel like December. With that, let me transition so smoothly into my first random thought. All random. All related to something I learned in 2016. It’s been one heck of a year. 

1) 

Could there BE a funnier quote  to start with, as Chandler Bing would say? No there couldn’t be. Just like Vegas: what happens in 2016 stays in 2016.  Basically no matter how much it doesn’t feel like December, no matter how many times you say, “gee this is another year that went by too freaking fast”, no matter how much you reflect on the colossal amount of universe and personal shit that went down, the year is finally ending. For those disppointed in the election results, like I was, please remain strong. Pleasant twists and turns may be in store.  Also back to the quote or meme, it also reminds me of the movie Fight Club. “First rule of fight club, never talk about fight club”. Lol. Sayonara 2016, just Sayonara! 

2) I lived with my sister for four months out of 2016, and I have to say I took a lot from the experience. My sister has a husband and a 6 year old child. She loves me and is protective of me. But being 34 years old she just found it difficult to understand my place, and what brought me to the point in my life where I had to stay with her rent free for those months. She took me in and supported me. Being somewhat psychic, I feel she felt like a Harry Potter spell or a quick point of a magic wand would fix everything. I have had over 22 jobs that haven’t lasted since 2014. She just doesn’t get it. I am grateful I got to live with her though because it taught me no one is perfect. No one’s life is perfect. They were imperfectly who they were and I was imperfectly who I was. It’s not Facebook. It’s raw real life. They were a family, so as much as I would have been happy to stay longer, I had to be nomadic once again and move. I’ve moved too much professionally and personally. That’s been my life the past few years. And especially in 2016, I am hoping to finally say I learned from it. She doesn’t have to get me. I don’t have to get her stability. She has a family. I’ve never been married yet, but I learned your marriage and family by marriage has to always come first. When it doesn’t, that’s when you have bigger problems to fry! ❤️

3)

Going with the bullets above, I think this quote is fitting and superb. The original quote is also in the book Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson, but she only uses, “hell is other people”. I talked to my therapist this year about this quote and we agreed it really is both. It’s your own lens that perceive your opinions about others. So it truly does all start with you. Hell is other people. AND hell is yourself. Food for thought. It brings my life and love for the yin yang full circle. The full circle thing is fresh in my head thanks to the awesome Gilmore Girls revival. Maybe there is such a thing as balance out there? Or maybe like I pointed out above, maybe it’s the perfect imperfections that create an individual’s idea of balance. Life is messy, but that’s what makes it beautiful. That’s what makes it exciting. 

4) I learned this year that even with being so mobile with my career and living arrangements, I can still seek and find answers. I have a great amount of intuition and psychic ability that I don’t trust. I have to learn how to harness it and its good power. It will be the thing that makes me rise. It will be the thing that makes me peak, but continuously, not only once. I decided and was guided to make a bold move and  work for myself. It’s actually one of the main reasons I haven’t posted in a while on here. It’s completely in the beginning stages, and all that doesn’t matter. It will take time. How much time? I’m not sure. But isn’t, time anyways, all relative? It will make things sync in my life.  And what’s better than that really? 
5) 

6) 

Finally, when someone pushes you down, please remember this quote. You are perfect just the way you are. I’m still learning to forgive myself. I can forgive others a little too easily, but I must forgive myself. I’m highly sensitive, I’m emotional, and in all my imperfections, I am perfect just the way I am! 

Fuck resolutions, this is 2017 we’re talking about,

SG

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Peachy

Below is a great dating quote mentioned by Suzie from the Single Girl Diva blog during a radio interview she just participated in…the audio for the interview is here in her recent post.

 Be sure to check it out. She mentions single is not a bad word, and tackles 5 dating truths that are spot on.

Signs you’re allowing him to steal your self worth

1) He’s confused about what he wants or completely doesn’t know what he wants….in life, in a relationship, in general. This is dangerous territory. (i.e.-he would get super emotional with you even if he’s the one breaking up with you, or completely become avoidant of you so he keeps the control.)

2) He refuses to kiss you on the lips during sex. (He desires zero emotional attachment, plain and simple, because guys are actually plain and simple.) As a female I will admit to not kissing with as much vigor if I am feeling the guy’s motives are untrustworthy or shady. This can be viewed as much more pure-hearted though. Sure, protecting emotions/feelings is definitely involved, but still allowing vulnerability to be present there. It was being more open hearted. But if a guy sets a standard that kissing on the mouth is absolutely off limits, but sex is a racing, easy, go…there could be a million selfish reasons and problems behind this.  He’s after getting his needs met and nothing more. By the way, at the same time, not giving the girl a lot of chance for ammunition to get hot or reach any finish point herself.  Really now. Think about it. Selfish in every sense of the word, while keeping his emotions completely closed off.

IMG_2159-03) He leaves within days or weeks of talking to you again, yet always comes back into your life even if months or years have passed by. (As the dating coach Matthew Hussey has stated, unless there is a genuine loved based reason for this, it’s usually for selfish reasons and therefore would not be long lasting.) It’s just so the guy can see you still care, or so he can boost his own ego. Get his fix, and abandon you again.

4)  He lies, steals, cheats, etc. This is a straight forward one and there are a plethora of articles about how to know if a guy is lying to you or cheating on you.

I know this all may sound pretty standard, but I think it’s all important, especially number two. I know I’m not a dating expert yet, but I’m feeling pretty good leaving this post completely without any research connected to it. I definitely feel closer to expert status, that’s for sure.

I found a related quote below that dives into a different idea of self-worth, reminding you it’s not something to chase after. Or maybe it’s just saying people with true self worth do not seek revenge.


Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Much love.