Sleepless and dateless in South Florida

Unlike Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, I don’t have a legitimate reason for my sleepless nights. In the movie, he was mourning the loss of a deceased spouse. I just worry too much. Night and day difference.

As far as the movie reference goes, hope there are other 80’s babies out there that will appreciate it. To give a rundown of a typical sleepless night for me: I’ll research online about what year Sleepless and Seattle came out (1993, by the way), then I’ll stumble on Tom Papa comedy, which makes me stumble on Seinfeld comedy, then I tell myself I have to write, but then I’m too tired to write or don’t know what I’m meant to write about. After all the internet surfing you also have to keep in mind I’m taking in all that blue light from my cell phone for hours at a time. Lose, lose situation with a dash of overkill. Then like I’m in a faint dream, I see the sunrise. It still feels as glorious as if I didn’t stink from staying up all night. Then my mind thinks I’m supposed to be awake at that point. You see how this ends up being a complete nosedive? I get zero sleep or nights when I’m lucky if l get a few hours.

I’ve tried all the remedies too. Melatonin, Advil PM, and the old fashioned just being utterly exhausted. I’ve grown tolerance to most of these solutions. Now, throw in not dating to the mix, and you’ll understand why I’m searching, or well, at least looking for some writing therapy . The last guy I dated, of course another one that wasn’t my type, was the one I wrote about in my December post, I really like you a lot. This was about him telling me he liked me, when the same feelings weren’t reciprocated on my end. That’s going on six months ago, with no serious dating since 2013, and without a boyfriend since 2010. Yes, 2010. I’m over the sleepless nights. I’m over hearing I have to heal from the past and current relationships first. I’m over feeling I’m just not ready to open the door and receive a respectful, sparking, fireworks kind of love. Come on Universe, it’s been seven plus years.  I’m here on this blog to announce I’m ready. I’m deserving of this. And if some healing has to happen, it will have to take place  while I’m getting to know my new match.  I’m going to be reminded of the quote below and get outside my comfort zone. I’m going to go entirely outside my comfort zones. Comfort zones are a false sense of security anyways, and nothing, I repeat, nothing ever grows there.  I also smell one more year until a 25th movie anniversary for Sleepless. They don’t make them like that anymore. I’m hopeful for a few movies I saw coming out this year though, one is called The Big Sick. As a side note, I adore Tom Hanks too. He had my heart in this movie, and still has it now with his recent Saturday Night Live skits. And Tom Papa with his, “have you lost weight?… “You’re doing the best you can.” It’s exactly the humor I need to hear right now! What can I say, I love comedy, and like a hybrid fairy and Cherub, I love romance.

Taking my own advice and giving it out to all of you at the same time: Get out there, take that big leap of faith outside your comfort zone, and watch how fast miracles unfold. 
“People who truly loved once, are far more likely to love again”, Sleepless in Seattle




Below is a great dating quote mentioned by Suzie from the Single Girl Diva blog during a radio interview she just participated in…the audio for the interview is here in her recent post.

 Be sure to check it out. She mentions single is not a bad word, and tackles 5 dating truths that are spot on.

Signs you’re allowing him to steal your self worth

1) He’s confused about what he wants or completely doesn’t know what he wants….in life, in a relationship, in general. This is dangerous territory. (i.e.-he would get super emotional with you even if he’s the one breaking up with you, or completely become avoidant of you so he keeps the control.)

2) He refuses to kiss you on the lips during sex. (He desires zero emotional attachment, plain and simple, because guys are actually plain and simple.) As a female I will admit to not kissing with as much vigor if I am feeling the guy’s motives are untrustworthy or shady. This can be viewed as much more pure-hearted though. Sure, protecting emotions/feelings is definitely involved, but still allowing vulnerability to be present there. It was being more open hearted. But if a guy sets a standard that kissing on the mouth is absolutely off limits, but sex is a racing, easy, go…there could be a million selfish reasons and problems behind this.  He’s after getting his needs met and nothing more. By the way, at the same time, not giving the girl a lot of chance for ammunition to get hot or reach any finish point herself.  Really now. Think about it. Selfish in every sense of the word, while keeping his emotions completely closed off.

IMG_2159-03) He leaves within days or weeks of talking to you again, yet always comes back into your life even if months or years have passed by. (As the dating coach Matthew Hussey has stated, unless there is a genuine loved based reason for this, it’s usually for selfish reasons and therefore would not be long lasting.) It’s just so the guy can see you still care, or so he can boost his own ego. Get his fix, and abandon you again.

4)  He lies, steals, cheats, etc. This is a straight forward one and there are a plethora of articles about how to know if a guy is lying to you or cheating on you.

I know this all may sound pretty standard, but I think it’s all important, especially number two. I know I’m not a dating expert yet, but I’m feeling pretty good leaving this post completely without any research connected to it. I definitely feel closer to expert status, that’s for sure.

I found a related quote below that dives into a different idea of self-worth, reminding you it’s not something to chase after. Or maybe it’s just saying people with true self worth do not seek revenge.

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Much love.