Sleepless and dateless in South Florida

Unlike Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, I don’t have a legitimate reason for my sleepless nights. In the movie, he was mourning the loss of a deceased spouse. I just worry too much. Night and day difference.  

As far as the movie reference goes, hope there are other 80’s babies out there that will appreciate it. To give a rundown of a typical sleepless night for me: I’ll research online about what year Sleepless and Seattle came out (1993, by the way), then I’ll stumble on Tom Papa comedy, which makes me stumble on Seinfeld comedy, then I tell myself I have to write, but then I’m too tired to write or don’t know what I’m meant to write about. After all the internet surfing you also have to keep in mind I’m taking in all that blue light from my cell phone for hours at a time. Lose, lose situation with a dash of overkill. Then like I’m in a faint dream, I see the sunrise. It still feels as glorious as if I didn’t stink from staying up all night. Then my mind thinks I’m supposed to be awake at that point. You see how this ends up being a complete nosedive? I get zero sleep or nights when I’m lucky if l get a few hours.

I’ve tried all the remedies too. Melatonin, Advil PM, and the old fashioned just being utterly exhausted. I’ve grown tolerance to most of these solutions. Now, throw in not dating to the mix, and you’ll understand why I’m searching, or well, at least looking for some writing therapy . The last guy I dated, of course another one that wasn’t my type, was the one I wrote about in my December post, I really like you a lot. This was about him telling me he liked me, when the same feelings weren’t reciprocated on my end. That’s going on six months ago, with no serious dating since 2013, and without a boyfriend since 2010. Yes, 2010. I’m over the sleepless nights. I’m over hearing I have to heal from the past and current relationships first. I’m over feeling I’m just not ready to open the door and receive a respectful, sparking, fireworks kind of love. Come on Universe, it’s been seven plus years.  I’m here on this blog to announce I’m ready. I’m deserving of this. And if some healing has to happen, it will just has to take place  while I’m getting to know my new match.  I’m going to be reminded of the quote below and get outside my comfort zone. I’m going to go entirely outside my comfort zones. Comfort zones are a false sense of security anyways, and nothing, I repeat, nothing ever grows there.  I also smell one more year until a 25th movie anniversary for Sleepless. They don’t make them like that anymore. I’m hopeful for a few movies I saw coming out this year though, one is called The Big Sick. As a side note, I adore Tom Hanks too. He had my heart in this movie, and still has it now with his recent Saturday Night Live skits. And Tom Papa with his, “have you lost weight?… “You’re doing the best you can.” It’s exactly the humor I need to hear right now! What can I say, I love comedy, and like a hybrid fairy and Cherub, I love romance. 

Taking my own advice and giving it out to all of you at the same time: Get out there, take that big leap of faith outside your comfort zone, and watch how fast miracles unfold. 
“People who truly loved once, are far more likely to love again”, Sleepless in Seattle 

SG 

My first random rant of 2017

I hope you all had a fantastic New Year’s Eve and day. I’m not quite sure how to tell you how mine was. You see, I was supposed to have dinner at my sisters with my Mom and my sister’s family (her husband and my 6 year old nephew). The dinner was a complete backfire though because she invited people I didn’t know were coming. I basically got pissed because of this and my Mom and I left early. Later at midnight, I toasted in the new year with my brother, his girlfriend, and a few of their friends. It was a complete cheat to have a small glass of champagne, but I mean, come on, I was ringing in a new year. 2017 just feels way different than 2016. Doesn’t it? We are about to hit the first full moon of the year tomorrow, Jan 12th. This full moon in the sign of Cancer and called the Wolf moon. Due to a bunch of other aligning astrological events, big changes are underway. Plus, to point out today is 1/11. All those 1’s in angel numbers means: Watch your thoughts because they are manifesting rapidly. Oh, goosebumps!! The kind you get from talking about something you love.  So only 11 days in the year and I already have some media I would like to discuss! The good, the creative, the cry worthy, and the fist-tightening or lip biting puzzling! Plus, of course, some randomness.

1)  Around the holidays Rihanna came out with a song called, “Love on the Brain”.  I’m not sure if any of you caught it on the radio or using Spotify, but I have to vent.  I love the music so much in this song that  it instantly drew me in. My hearing is bad though so I had to then after loving the vibe of the song look up the lyrics. Now I know Rihanna is messed up with her love life, and we may all be screwed up in some way or another, but maybe not the Rihanna way of being screwed up. The music is beautiful. Oh, but the lyrics are nasty! Two particular lines of lyrics (to be exact) are absolutely jaw dropping. Somehow, instead of being my sometimes prude or closed-minded self I decided I like it. She sings the lyrics so powerfully because she actually went through it herself. It’s BOLD! It’s CREATIVE! And I’m still going to say I like it. I pray no one reading this has the Rihanna way of being messed up though! Lol!

2) Anyone who hasn’t seen Meryl Streep’s Golden Globe speech that basically blew up the press immediately afterwards, has to stop everything they are doing right now and watch it. But since I am assuming you don’t live in a hole, you probably already watched it!

Ben Affleck’s response to Donald Trump’s tweet about Meryl Streep being an overrated actress is so funny and authentic. His interview on Jimmy Kimmel is also a must watch to tie in Trump’s tweet/reaction and Streep’s speech. This year is going to be a big year for media. There is going to be a constant tug of war with the truth. Make sure you stay safe, research sides, and trust your gut about what media is lying or not. Since a reality tv star is elected as our next commander in cheif, then I don’t see why anyone couldn’t listen to these beautiful words from Meryl Streep. She used a lifetime achievement award to talk about her distaste for that one incident involving Trump. She was definitely disheartened seeing it in person. Choose you sides wisely loves.

3)  Been doing a bit too much gambling lately, but it’s fun. And isn’t life just one big gamble?

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4) I’m still waiting for my tall, lanky, hazel-eyed, funny, sweet, handsome, successful man. I know he’s out there.

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xo,

SG

What I learned in 2016: a personal yet always random year in review

Can I start off by saying here in South Florida it doesn’t feel like December. Sure, it has still cooled off those 2 or 3 degrees. There are lights up. There are Christmas trees and decorations starting to show up more and more since December 1st hit.  But it just doesn’t feel like December. With that, let me transition so smoothly into my first random thought. All random. All related to something I learned in 2016. It’s been one heck of a year. 

1) 

Could there BE a funnier quote  to start with, as Chandler Bing would say? No there couldn’t be. Just like Vegas: what happens in 2016 stays in 2016.  Basically no matter how much it doesn’t feel like December, no matter how many times you say, “gee this is another year that went by too freaking fast”, no matter how much you reflect on the colossal amount of universe and personal shit that went down, the year is finally ending. For those disppointed in the election results, like I was, please remain strong. Pleasant twists and turns may be in store.  Also back to the quote or meme, it also reminds me of the movie Fight Club. “First rule of fight club, never talk about fight club”. Lol. Sayonara 2016, just Sayonara! 

2) I lived with my sister for four months out of 2016, and I have to say I took a lot from the experience. My sister has a husband and a 6 year old child. She loves me and is protective of me. But being 34 years old she just found it difficult to understand my place, and what brought me to the point in my life where I had to stay with her rent free for those months. She took me in and supported me. Being somewhat psychic, I feel she felt like a Harry Potter spell or a quick point of a magic wand would fix everything. I have had over 22 jobs that haven’t lasted since 2014. She just doesn’t get it. I am grateful I got to live with her though because it taught me no one is perfect. No one’s life is perfect. They were imperfectly who they were and I was imperfectly who I was. It’s not Facebook. It’s raw real life. They were a family, so as much as I would have been happy to stay longer, I had to be nomadic once again and move. I’ve moved too much professionally and personally. That’s been my life the past few years. And especially in 2016, I am hoping to finally say I learned from it. She doesn’t have to get me. I don’t have to get her stability. She has a family. I’ve never been married yet, but I learned your marriage and family by marriage has to always come first. When it doesn’t, that’s when you have bigger problems to fry! ❤️

3)

Going with the bullets above, I think this quote is fitting and superb. The original quote is also in the book Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson, but she only uses, “hell is other people”. I talked to my therapist this year about this quote and we agreed it really is both. It’s your own lens that perceive your opinions about others. So it truly does all start with you. Hell is other people. AND hell is yourself. Food for thought. It brings my life and love for the yin yang full circle. The full circle thing is fresh in my head thanks to the awesome Gilmore Girls revival. Maybe there is such a thing as balance out there? Or maybe like I pointed out above, maybe it’s the perfect imperfections that create an individual’s idea of balance. Life is messy, but that’s what makes it beautiful. That’s what makes it exciting. 

4) I learned this year that even with being so mobile with my career and living arrangements, I can still seek and find answers. I have a great amount of intuition and psychic ability that I don’t trust. I have to learn how to harness it and its good power. It will be the thing that makes me rise. It will be the thing that makes me peak, but continuously, not only once. I decided and was guided to make a bold move and  work for myself. It’s actually one of the main reasons I haven’t posted in a while on here. It’s completely in the beginning stages, and all that doesn’t matter. It will take time. How much time? I’m not sure. But isn’t, time anyways, all relative? It will make things sync in my life.  And what’s better than that really? 
5) 

6) 

Finally, when someone pushes you down, please remember this quote. You are perfect just the way you are. I’m still learning to forgive myself. I can forgive others a little too easily, but I must forgive myself. I’m highly sensitive, I’m emotional, and in all my imperfections, I am perfect just the way I am! 

Fuck resolutions, this is 2017 we’re talking about,

SG

Damn, Daniel! Back at it again with the randomness. 

1) I’ve had a very sporadic schedule the past three months. It’s far from an open schedule, because I’ve never been busier with appointments in my whole life, but I tend to have many nights where I can stay up late. Mix my schedule with insomnia and now you’ve just created an avid YouTube watching machine.  Being single also allows freedom for YouTube surfing at anytime. So what kind of videos do you find watching YouTube until 5:30 in the morning, you ask? A shitload! You find Ellen DeGeneres interviewing the kids behind Damn, Daniel. Then you find videos on the movie they made based on Damn, Daniel. Then videos on why it’s popular. The answer, by the way: it’s a joke that’s laid out in as quick and simple of a format as a meme.   Outside this “younger than MY generation stuff” is the “inside my generation stuff”. This is the crap I love watching the most…like the Saturday Night Live  clips that always have the social media  comments on how every episode sucks and the show hasn’t been good in twenty years. Blah, blah, blah.. Sorry, but Kate McKinnon s Hillary is hilarious. Or Jimmy Fallon skits, or James Corden’s carpool skits. The list for late night shows right now is endless because it’s all so good.  Then one night after watching some Fallon skits, I found Stephen Colbert videos. By the way, Colbert  is such an under-appreciated talent, which is the same opinion even mentioned by the genius Steve Carell. From these strings of videos, I find ones highlighting Jon Stewart’s final episode. This is all golden stuff and I learned a lot about Stewart and Colbert’s closeness.  Finally from the Fallon, to the Colbert,  to the Stewart I found this skit below, at the already mentioned 5:30 in the morning. Sleep is overrated, my friends. But also a necessity to function.  Thank you bbc: Walhberg’s laugh is contagious and Ferrell’s New Kids on the Block joke is the essence of this millennial’s humor.  So hilarious yet as time wasting as every other skit/show mentioned. 

 
2) I dropped a 5lb weight on my foot last month. The result was a broken fourth toe on my left foot. Is it irony it happened moments after an Instagram post talking about bettering myself and being happy doing things that make me happy alone. (hello, like exercise???) Any reiki peeps who can help shed light?? I feel it was a message telling me to slow down and also to do more root chakra work. Hopefully it’s even a root chakra rebalance and clearing in some strange way? I’m expecting a lot more than just physical healing from this recovery.   #pain #footinjury #weights #bruised #rootchakra #chakras #slowdownbaby #slowdown #rootchakrawork

3) because:random! 

4)  because: boundaries

Looking for peace but finding some good distraction instead, 

SG

Create 

I really should be sound asleep right now, but instead felt the urge to share, or create, my thoughts with you lovelies, by the help of some pictures I have saved on my phone.

1) Love will come when you least expect it, from probably a someone you least expect. Maybe that friend zone guy that you still see or talk to everyday, maybe a new neighbor, maybe a new person you meet from doing an activity or outing you wouldn’t normally do. Think outside the box. Think outside your comfort zone. And then just have fun, of course.I simultaneously fell in love with the artwork on this one and the message in words.

2) Attended my first drumming circle last weekend and it was an awesome experience. The instructor was handsome with twenty plus years drumming experience. The vibration from the sound alone made me a believer that it is definitely a releasing tool. Releasing of all of it…repeating old negative patterns, releasing old pain or hurt, releasing to make room for the new.

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3) This is my soul, heart, and spirit explained in a nutshell. I am a fairy hybrid forced to live some time in the physical world.

Going hand in hand with that: Fairy tarot cards, you will be mine, oh yes, you will be mine. Who doesn’t love a Wayne’s World reference? Party on, Doreen Virtue and your beautiful angel cards. Party on.

4) That darn Facebook will always be the debvil to me. Major love hate, and leaving me always seesawing up and down.  Like most others, I just spend time looking at old people I dated,  and then those people’s people end up under my people you may know list, and you wind up looking at strangers. Its a vicious cycle that can only be mended by severe moderation or by completely staying off of it altogether. It’s big brother, it’s a time waster, and is not meant to make you feel bad. I have to separate from it and let go of the bad feelings I have from it once and for all. Go ahead and send me a friend request–guy I haven’t talked to in two years,IMG_2912go ahead and Facebook stalk me ex-boyfriend from six years ago, or random guy I’m dating, go ahead and like a picture I post the minute I post it, then proceed to bs me, and tell me you don’t really look or blow up my page at all. Oh the insanity. All ego here, but can’t help myself. Another related Facebook theme or quote: “I’m staying off Facebook to get a life!”

5) A lot of changes are about to occur for me in the next few weeks, and I came across this Danielle Laporte truthbomb quote. It’s quite appropriate for my individual experience right now. I thank a friend for introducing me to her, and these truthbombs are always relevant. Never fear your future, just be a badass and create it.

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Wishing that you all are still feeling all the feels, gratitude, and love from Thanksgiving.  Always search for something, SG