Sleepless and dateless in South Florida

Unlike Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, I don’t have a legitimate reason for my sleepless nights. In the movie, he was mourning the loss of a deceased spouse. I just worry too much. Night and day difference.

As far as the movie reference goes, hope there are other 80’s babies out there that will appreciate it. To give a rundown of a typical sleepless night for me: I’ll research online about what year Sleepless and Seattle came out (1993, by the way), then I’ll stumble on Tom Papa comedy, which makes me stumble on Seinfeld comedy, then I tell myself I have to write, but then I’m too tired to write or don’t know what I’m meant to write about. After all the internet surfing you also have to keep in mind I’m taking in all that blue light from my cell phone for hours at a time. Lose, lose situation with a dash of overkill. Then like I’m in a faint dream, I see the sunrise. It still feels as glorious as if I didn’t stink from staying up all night. Then my mind thinks I’m supposed to be awake at that point. You see how this ends up being a complete nosedive? I get zero sleep or nights when I’m lucky if l get a few hours.

I’ve tried all the remedies too. Melatonin, Advil PM, and the old fashioned just being utterly exhausted. I’ve grown tolerance to most of these solutions. Now, throw in not dating to the mix, and you’ll understand why I’m searching, or well, at least looking for some writing therapy . The last guy I dated, of course another one that wasn’t my type, was the one I wrote about in my December post, I really like you a lot. This was about him telling me he liked me, when the same feelings weren’t reciprocated on my end. That’s going on six months ago, with no serious dating since 2013, and without a boyfriend since 2010. Yes, 2010. I’m over the sleepless nights. I’m over hearing I have to heal from the past and current relationships first. I’m over feeling I’m just not ready to open the door and receive a respectful, sparking, fireworks kind of love. Come on Universe, it’s been seven plus years.  I’m here on this blog to announce I’m ready. I’m deserving of this. And if some healing has to happen, it will have to take place  while I’m getting to know my new match.  I’m going to be reminded of the quote below and get outside my comfort zone. I’m going to go entirely outside my comfort zones. Comfort zones are a false sense of security anyways, and nothing, I repeat, nothing ever grows there.  I also smell one more year until a 25th movie anniversary for Sleepless. They don’t make them like that anymore. I’m hopeful for a few movies I saw coming out this year though, one is called The Big Sick. As a side note, I adore Tom Hanks too. He had my heart in this movie, and still has it now with his recent Saturday Night Live skits. And Tom Papa with his, “have you lost weight?… “You’re doing the best you can.” It’s exactly the humor I need to hear right now! What can I say, I love comedy, and like a hybrid fairy and Cherub, I love romance.

Taking my own advice and giving it out to all of you at the same time: Get out there, take that big leap of faith outside your comfort zone, and watch how fast miracles unfold. 
“People who truly loved once, are far more likely to love again”, Sleepless in Seattle

SG

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Create 

I really should be sound asleep right now, but instead felt the urge to share, or create, my thoughts with you lovelies, by the help of some pictures I have saved on my phone.

1) Love will come when you least expect it, from probably a someone you least expect. Maybe that friend zone guy that you still see or talk to everyday, maybe a new neighbor, maybe a new person you meet from doing an activity or outing you wouldn’t normally do. Think outside the box. Think outside your comfort zone. And then just have fun, of course.I simultaneously fell in love with the artwork on this one and the message in words.

2) Attended my first drumming circle last weekend and it was an awesome experience. The instructor was handsome with twenty plus years drumming experience. The vibration from the sound alone made me a believer that it is definitely a releasing tool. Releasing of all of it…repeating old negative patterns, releasing old pain or hurt, releasing to make room for the new.

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3) This is my soul, heart, and spirit explained in a nutshell. I am a fairy hybrid forced to live some time in the physical world.

Going hand in hand with that: Fairy tarot cards, you will be mine, oh yes, you will be mine. Who doesn’t love a Wayne’s World reference? Party on, Doreen Virtue and your beautiful angel cards. Party on.

4) That darn Facebook will always be the debvil to me. Major love hate, and leaving me always seesawing up and down.  Like most others, I just spend time looking at old people I dated,  and then those people’s people end up under my people you may know list, and you wind up looking at strangers. Its a vicious cycle that can only be mended by severe moderation or by completely staying off of it altogether. It’s big brother, it’s a time waster, and is not meant to make you feel bad. I have to separate from it and let go of the bad feelings I have from it once and for all. Go ahead and send me a friend request–guy I haven’t talked to in two years,IMG_2912go ahead and Facebook stalk me ex-boyfriend from six years ago, or random guy I’m dating, go ahead and like a picture I post the minute I post it, then proceed to bs me, and tell me you don’t really look or blow up my page at all. Oh the insanity. All ego here, but can’t help myself. Another related Facebook theme or quote: “I’m staying off Facebook to get a life!”

5) A lot of changes are about to occur for me in the next few weeks, and I came across this Danielle Laporte truthbomb quote. It’s quite appropriate for my individual experience right now. I thank a friend for introducing me to her, and these truthbombs are always relevant. Never fear your future, just be a badass and create it.

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Wishing that you all are still feeling all the feels, gratitude, and love from Thanksgiving.  Always search for something, SG

Randomness

It’s amazing to me that this will only be my second or so random list post on this blog. Well, because I love lists, and variety is the spice of life, baby.  So here i go, and it’ll be just as therapeutic as ranting:

1) So as an avid or maybe not so avid online dater, I’m back doing the online dating thing. I had a date last week, and talking hardcore to a different guy that I have interest in on one of the sites. My lesson to myself is this though, if I’m seeking communication and respect, why would it make sense to accept someone stringing me along for a pointless ride? Well, if you let go of fear, you’re left with love. And if you have love none of that matters much anyways. You just say okay, you’re not available for me…NEXT!! Read up on the warnings signs that a guy is stringing you along here.

2) Well, going hand in hand with that, don’t let people walk all over you. A reoccurring lesson in my love life since I was even a teenager is that I give the wrong people too many chances and too much of my attention, when they are only using me for the temporary fix of attention to boost their own ego. No more!! The number one way to combat desperation in love is self-love. Once you love yourself and respect yourself, others follow foot or lead so to speak) I have been a self-help reading junkie lately, and taking a lot from it. I’ve read Oprah’s What I know for sure, and moved on to Jen Sincero’s, You are a badass.  The online reviews swayed me a little bit for Oprah’s book. I loved that she quoted Tolle several times, and even Ruiz, but her 1% was definitely showing throughout the book. Perfect example was when she talking about  shopping at Tiffany’s in the late nineties and she was debating between two pieces and was reminded by a friend she could afford both.  She talks down about having any kind of debt, which was another hard pill to swallow given the source. The Jen Sincero book has a great reference section at the end that lists all the books she used to write hers. Even if you decide not to read it, look at it for that alone. You’ll be glad you did.

4) The attitude of graditude will change your life. This is a promise. The Universe is an overflowingly abundant universe, and if you practice graditide daily, the rewards will come reaping in. I suppose I’m pitching a graditude journal.  I’m starting to work on this myself. Major game changer. Just breath and believe! If what you have is plenty, more will come pouring in. Quite naturally I may add.

5) Stole this gem from a Teal Swan YouTube video. Awesomeness. Awesome randomness

  
6) This guy Matthew Hussey has a ton of YouTube videos on dating. Besides being easy on the eyes, having confident mannerisms, and a heaven of a sexy voice, his tips are all relevant, helpful, and modern. Anything from first date tips, how to boost attraction, to why shy can come across as boring. Can I get a amen for finding this guy?? I’ve always held strong opinions about if guys and girls can just be friends and he explains, attraction to others and outside will always be there, but if the choice of loyalty takes the front plate, you will have a partner that’s faithful to you. In my mind, the answer is a flat out no. To each their own, and every relationship is different.

6) What I know for sure or what I’ve learned this past month: I desire to always keep learning. Discover, take eventful full leaps of faith, and act in this game called life.

Count your blessings, always. Randomness out.