Sleepless and dateless in South Florida

Unlike Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, I don’t have a legitimate reason for my sleepless nights. In the movie, he was mourning the loss of a deceased spouse. I just worry too much. Night and day difference.  

As far as the movie reference goes, hope there are other 80’s babies out there that will appreciate it. To give a rundown of a typical sleepless night for me: I’ll research online about what year Sleepless and Seattle came out (1993, by the way), then I’ll stumble on Tom Papa comedy, which makes me stumble on Seinfeld comedy, then I tell myself I have to write, but then I’m too tired to write or don’t know what I’m meant to write about. After all the internet surfing you also have to keep in mind I’m taking in all that blue light from my cell phone for hours at a time. Lose, lose situation with a dash of overkill. Then like I’m in a faint dream, I see the sunrise. It still feels as glorious as if I didn’t stink from staying up all night. Then my mind thinks I’m supposed to be awake at that point. You see how this ends up being a complete nosedive? I get zero sleep or nights when I’m lucky if l get a few hours.

I’ve tried all the remedies too. Melatonin, Advil PM, and the old fashioned just being utterly exhausted. I’ve grown tolerance to most of these solutions. Now, throw in not dating to the mix, and you’ll understand why I’m searching, or well, at least looking for some writing therapy . The last guy I dated, of course another one that wasn’t my type, was the one I wrote about in my December post, I really like you a lot. This was about him telling me he liked me, when the same feelings weren’t reciprocated on my end. That’s going on six months ago, with no serious dating since 2013, and without a boyfriend since 2010. Yes, 2010. I’m over the sleepless nights. I’m over hearing I have to heal from the past and current relationships first. I’m over feeling I’m just not ready to open the door and receive a respectful, sparking, fireworks kind of love. Come on Universe, it’s been seven plus years.  I’m here on this blog to announce I’m ready. I’m deserving of this. And if some healing has to happen, it will just has to take place  while I’m getting to know my new match.  I’m going to be reminded of the quote below and get outside my comfort zone. I’m going to go entirely outside my comfort zones. Comfort zones are a false sense of security anyways, and nothing, I repeat, nothing ever grows there.  I also smell one more year until a 25th movie anniversary for Sleepless. They don’t make them like that anymore. I’m hopeful for a few movies I saw coming out this year though, one is called The Big Sick. As a side note, I adore Tom Hanks too. He had my heart in this movie, and still has it now with his recent Saturday Night Live skits. And Tom Papa with his, “have you lost weight?… “You’re doing the best you can.” It’s exactly the humor I need to hear right now! What can I say, I love comedy, and like a hybrid fairy and Cherub, I love romance. 

Taking my own advice and giving it out to all of you at the same time: Get out there, take that big leap of faith outside your comfort zone, and watch how fast miracles unfold. 
“People who truly loved once, are far more likely to love again”, Sleepless in Seattle 

SG 

“I really like you a lot.”

When a guy says they really like you, they mean it. No having to dissect it. Males are simple, direct, and use as few words as possible to communicate with the opposite sex. Even in this case, when they are telling you they like you, there is no reading between the lines here.


I’m recently dating this guy that I was first talking to through online dating. We talked but never met around this same time last year. I was in a crappy place and told him I didn’t think it would be best to meet then. He said he still had my number and we started texting last month, a year later, and finally met up. After our third date, and they all were spaced out a week apart, he told me he really likes me. So sorry for sounding like a broken record like I do, but guys are simple. When they are there, I mean actually consistently visable, they are next to you…then they like you. When they say they like you, they like you. No hidden meanings, no extremities. Here’s the kicker though: I’m not sure I  like him or feel the same way. I feel really bad about it too. He’s a nice guy,  but I’m not feeling any physical or intellectual connection. Our first date was a cute meet up to get ice cream, we had a full lunch and a walk on the beach for our second date. And one mixed in Netflix and chill date, and a coffee date. The Netflix date barely lead to second base. I dig the slowness too. If you’re read any  piece of my blog, you know that for the past couple of years I have gotten nothing but the opposite. Guys are keen to the physical a little too fast with me. I’m tired of it really. 

But what do I do? It’s now about five weeks in and I don’t know how I feel about this dude. Do I break it off possibly too prematurely, string him along, or see where things go?  Stringing him along is definitely not my style, so it has to be one of the other two. He’s an almost boyfriend here and I’m a little petrified!


I just still haven’t met him yet?, 

SG

Label me single, I double dog dare you! 

Isn’t it funny how someone can have nothing but unhealthy or dysfunctional relationships and bring up to you about how single you are?!  Is that really any different than being single? My vote is no!

I’m loving my alone time lately, yet I’m officially back on the dating scene. I’m online and have a date set for this week.  I’ll be happy to report more especially if the date is a success. I’m going with the flow. That’s all.   I’ll have to ignore the ego of others that are baggage filled, not soak up the emotions and energy of others like a sponge, and live.

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Do what makes you happy,  

The awesome, smart, funny, beautiful, and mischievous girl

Are you addicted to being single? 

 I came across Debra Berndt’s guided meditations on YouTube, and it made me research her more. She’s the real deal. She’s a love expert with her own personal experience of being single until 41, and turning it all around for herself. Unless you have an extra couple thousand dollars laying around burning a hole in your wallet, sessions with her may not be too accessible. Good news is she has loads of information online and a book you could get your hands on for free. Her website creativelove.com informs, “She has extensive training in clinical hypnotherapy, dream work/visualization, unconscious communication as well as decades of practice in eastern philosophy, meditation and higher consciousness.” Her book is called Let Love In: Open your heart and mind to attract your ideal partner, and focuses on how love starts inside you and can be mended on a subconscious level once you discover your own dating and love paterns that block love. She claims it’s just you getting in your own way. She uses Carl Jung’s work to back up her teachings, and “works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado on developing a system based on Jungian Psychology and Eastern Philosophy that helps singles create conscious chemistry with the person who is meant for their true self.”  

Below is a sample video of her talking about being addicted to being single. The list mentions being identified as a single person once you’ve been single over a year, getting sympathy from loved ones because you’re single, and self sabotaging new relationships over petty reasons. The solutions mentioned in the video are going outside your comfort zone, which she says takes a lot longer, or standard hypnosis, which allows you to get answers from your subconscious by relaxing your mind. Applying her advice could help if you identify as a addicted to being single person. Her work opens up the doors to self knowledge, and as Berndt puts it, finding love you’re not settling for. If sessions with her are within your financial reach, she offers a free 30 minute consultation on her website. Now all that’s left is to apply the lessons to stop the cycles, or win the lottery to get a chance to have a session with her.

Bring on the help. Attract the love you deserve. 

Smooth Criminal

In 2012 I took part in a free amateur poker league, and in the process met some people. People that liked to drink, people that liked to play poker. One guy I met in particular was JZ, or as Michael Jackson and I would call him: smooth criminal.  JZ was in a 12 year relationship with this tough Asian girl at the time, and she also went to the poker games. He was unhappy though, and the relationship, even given the length of time invested, was running it’s course and about to end. He took notice of me on the the very first night I met him, even though he was with the girlfriend, saying things like, “We have to find a man for this chick.” Then some time past, and their relationship went more down hill, and he took the opportunity to talk to me one night. We had drinks, and shots, and that made us talk even more. He called my phone so I would have his number and left a message telling me to remember what a good time we were having. He was 10 years older than me so he also made a point to tell me if I ever wanted to talk to him about anything, I could call. He told me that night was his deceased Mom’s birthday. He used it to his full advantage. 

He warned me he would be trouble, but I didn’t listen. I saw he had a bunch of texts from a girl, and I think he even told me she was someone he worked with that was interested in him, but he wasn’t that interested back. Alcohol tends to makes things like that less clear. I think if you only fast forward about a couple weeks from that night, crap hit the fan. The Asian “ex” girlfriend was getting involved since she knew I was talking to him. I felt it was too much drama. JZ was transitioning a move, and of course our friend alcohol was involved. I told JZ he needed some time to be alone, little did I know he would definitely not listen to that advice.  JZ took me out even after all the chaos. I think he really liked me, or maybe he felt bad about how the ex acted? He took me on my first motorcycle ride, and it was an experience I treasure to this day. I didn’t see him again after that. Now fast forward again to the present, JZ is with the girl from work that he wasn’t interested in the beginning, and they had a baby (Thanks facebook), and, well, I am attempting to get dates offline.

So, with all this set up, here is an old poem I wrote about him. Being so far in the past, I’m happy I got the writing out of it. 

No more premature nicknames, no matter how fitting, 

Single Girl

Damn you

11/14/2012

Damn you,

And your perfect lines

They got me every time

Damn you

And your voice

It’s as hypnotic as red wine

Damn you

And your baggage

Which somehow gave you the advantage

Damn you

And your approach

It’s what I hated the most.

“Why can’t anything be easy?”

Yet your signals were so breezy

Damn you

I will no longer be held captive

And look for something more passive

No more adrenaline rush drama or rides

I will break free, for once take my own side

At the end of the day

I am me

You are you

We won’t get in each other’s way

As tame or as wild as we choose

I want nothing to do with you

Maybe age isn’t just a number…

I started a new job three weeks ago. Very “interesting” atmosphere, what seems to be a decent boss, and independent work. The job isn’t all independent work but a big chunk of it is, so that’s all a good fit for me. So over these last couple weeks, I trained with two different guys, one of them being a youngin that I had very little in common with.

My first night was ironically enough Friday the 13th and I met the youngin. He repeatedly said it was bad night to start my training because it was so busy; He trained me nonetheless. I trained with him the next night, but not again for another six days. When he came to that shift, he had massive alcohol on his breath, and I was not impressed.

I was experiencing a major fork in the road because I had another job offer I was interested in, but my boss at this job convinced me to stay. Everything was running slow with the other offer, so I decided to stay. Finally after my training ended, I was scheduled to work alone. The youngin was scheduled too, without me knowing, since my manager just wanted to make sure I would be okay. I sent the youngin home early, but got stuck much later in my shift. I called him for help and he offered to come back in person to help me. There was some flirting on my end, not something I do often, but in this case I did, and we talked about our age difference, about 8 years. So he was legal, just too young. When he came back to help me he asked me out sometime for sushi. I said sure, thinking, well, it would be a date with someone I met offline, and it would be fun.

Almost as fast as the date was thought out loud, things dimmed out. He texted that same night after he left to make sure I was good with the work I got stuck on, and then I didn’t hear from him again. I’ll hardly see him now that I am trained since his two shifts a week are always going to be my two days off.  I was hurt, but I was given some good advice that was relevant and good to the topic. I knew he was too young, and I knew we had very little in common. Sometimes you just have to trust your woman intuition. I know for sure something more complete and action filled will pop up, instead of these situations that end before they even start.  I am at a job with a boss that fought to keep me, so still I’m feeling positive and awesome about that.  Maybe age isn’t just a number, it’s definitely a word though, and a powerful one if you ask me!

The not so young, but young looking,

Single Girl